Kijima's Brickthrower!

written 6.28.04. Much props to the Morrissey interview in EW, 80's sadness hardcore!

"Playing Musical Instruments"<===Val's phrase...

So this week I went from playing bass to rhythm guitar to keyboards/synth. And you know what? I'm actually bloody excited about it. I have some sort of confidence on the old piano--and damn if me mum won't be happy that those 5 years of lessons paid off (finally!).

Oh yes, I know. We're one split personality disorder of a band. But I really trust and genuinely like the people I'm playing with, and I think both of them are really intelligent people. And I lurve it and suck it up with a bendy straw each time I'm with them. Its just amusing to me how much we have clicked so far and how much strife HANDIWAX went through. That was a soap opera waiting to happen (CALIFORNIA DREAMS aside).

Anyway, I subsequently showed Bill Jemas some of my work and was criticized for my non-sensical-ness, which I totally agree with. As I replied in an email about this very subject:

Anyway, don't you see now why I write poetry??? I have all this shite in my head that is just screaming to get out, but developing into ideas and non-convoluted ones at that is extremely difficult to me. I can write a research paper every day of the week but ask me to use my organizational skills in my creative work and I go brain dead.

So it goes. And suffice it to say I've written 2 new things this week, don't really think they're poems...just a blend of words that might end up as poems someday. But one is really pretty so I'm going to scan it next...stay tuned. The other one is way to weird for me to even post here right now. But its about my life right now, and I think that says a HELLA lot.

Just watched CASTLE IN THE SKY tonight and it was really good. Also watched LOST HIGHWAY (soundtrack is in now--fucking great CD) on Sunday or Monday and need to write about it now for me next column.

JD is having a crazy Mary weekend in the burbs. We're going Saturday for a trip to ZERNS followed by a little get together for someone special's b-day. Should be a very fun time!!! Me and Keg to Da Leg will be hanging all weekend which always guarantees rawkus and rage. My own personal R&R.

So now I must scan pictures, post on message boards and play around with my key-tar that LX is loaning me, which is totally 80's rokken like dokken!

Oi! can't forget that I mailed pics to THE LEE as well as called ALEX AVELINO to see if he's been getting my emails (yes I am that crazy).

EBOLA SYNDROME--SUCKED!
MY NAIL BITING--OBSESSIVE

***Andy Lee just called!!!!***

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Pitch Shifter...

So I just want to say here that I was talking about the wrong Alex in my writings/pictures. ALEX AVELINO was the very cool, pirate rum loving friend on Sunday @ ze con. Sorry for the screw up here; I feel like a jerk. He hasn't emailed me back and I'm afraid its b/c I'm the lamer than can't get last names straight. 2 Alex's!!! Right next to each other!!! What are the odds???

Anyway, we're going to try to have me start playing rhythm guitar in the band and have LX start singing and playing bass. Its an interesting concept...and I'm willing to try anything. But we have made it understood that if it's not meshing with me then we can change it around. I don't know. I'm in complete and total love with me bass...but I also really like this group of people so far.

So if ANDEELEE or someone will drive me, I'm going to crash the next TORONTO show and cover it all by my lonesome!!! Its so bloody exciting to think about doing a story completely on my own that will involve new info and coverage rather than me writing about the shite that I like. And it will be the final con before my September deadline of the C.C.C. (self imposed deadline; I'm working on getting a good editor/research partner to help me with my proposal for one of the bigger sites). Anyone that wants to do a 4-day weekend with me please email me!!!!

I made a collage of my leftover photos from TORONTO so I can look @ them all the time. I just wanted to make something. Its fun. I wish it wasn't SUNDAY afternoon. I need to talk to Stefan tomorrow and hope that we can get everything straightened out. Such a long and pointless story.
Koop stayed over this weekend for the one day show and I got to work with Jaime. I hung out with her, Mr. Cyphere, Keg Leg and Rae as well. It was an interesting night indeed.

6 FEET UNDER tonight...hip hip hooray! I'm working on something of an original poem but its borderline lame. So we shall see.

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You think its sleazy/To put it in the short leather

I used to hate THE WHITE STRIPES. I thought they were completely overrated. AND NO BASSIST??? Fucking Blasphemy I tell you!
Well, JACK WHITE is the man. Nuff said. His pencil thin moustache in "THE HARDEST BUTTON TO BUTTON" vid (Gondry directed-rock!) is enough to make my heart go aflutter. Yes yes.

So KEOKI is spinning tonight and I won't be there. I'm such a loser. I should suck it up and go anyway but I'm getting sick and I'd like to stop it before it starts (yeah right....I'm already drinking). So instead I practiced bass for a bit, and now plan on writing while watching JUON b/c I'm obsessed.

Nothing much is going on. I have to work tomorrow, and then I'm meeting up with Mike and Keg Leg for a private party @ EMERALD CITY (where I should be going tonight!) for Carlin's graduation. Band practice on Sunday.

I shouldn't have gone out last night, then I'd be ready to kick ass for KEOKI. WHINE WHINE WHINE.

Ok, time to finish up this poem which I have no idea what its about.

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Platinum @ Fluid
The Tornado 6.25.04

The Tornado
swept me in
past my robot step
and trucker hat.

I swore I saw
a cow fly by when I was
ordering my beer, screaming
"PUT THAT BEER BACK
IN THE CAN WHERE IT WAS
BORN SON!"

But the bartender
couldn't hear me over the
WHOOSH of the girl,
with the hair
and the moves
that swept away the entire
dance floor...

leaving nothing but THE FLUID

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Rage on! Andy, Me and Allen getting our drink on!!!! Now check out our con coverage and MORE PICS @ http://www.simplyjd.com

Sorrow in Toronto

Me, Andeelee and Allen @ Jeremiah Bullfrogs

My fave Toronto Pic--me and Andeelee having a smoke break on the last day of the Con

Made the Choice to Go Insane

NIN is the official soundtrack of my life. Oh yes, sceaming about the pain of EVERYTHING is something I do best.

and I'm always in pain.

Trying to write without using the word "I" is like impossible. I am everywhere. Its my fucking life. What's wrong with ME? I? Why does that make me "young and inexperienced"?

I have been in love
I have broken hearts and had my heart broken
I have a functional dysfunctional family
I have had an ex-lover almost die on my twice
I have to take pills to keep from comitting suicide

Doesn't this make me know enough to know that I should just shut the fuck up right now and stop being so self-loathing? Um...guess not.

I pulled out all the usual writing gear today: the pencil box, the folder of writing, the new notebook. And I just looked at it and wanted to scream.
I went over to Stefan and Ry's to watch BATTLE ROYALE and it was like we were all strangers again. I can't believe how alone I can be with people around me all the time. We barely talked. I don't want to ask about his girl b/c I don't know what to say. He was my friend goddammit! I care about him so much but its all gone. We're never gonna get that back.
"Mary, I don't understand why you just can't decide to be happy, and then be happy." <===direct quote from my dad when I was 16 years old

Nothing...seems to kill me...no matter how hard I try
Nothing is closing my eyes...for your pain or your delight

I need to stop this tomfoolery before my heart explodes from the emo-ness of it all.

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One more for the road...Alex Avelino, Me and Andy sharing some rump-bumping! And beware of BUMS in Toronto--they will kill you or pee on you if provoked!!!

Toronto Con Coverage--theWRETCHED style

Let's recap...shall we?
So airports totally suck now. I would seriously prefer to drive to SDC next year instead of flying. I know we were going to another country and all but it was fucking gay. DAS FUHRER BUSH has made it annoying as all hell.
We didn't make it to TORONTO until 1-ish. So sleep was pretty much the only thing going on in my head.

I arose to JD's alarm Saturday morning and thought I would sleep longer but ended up waiting for the boyz (that would be JD and E-Mart) to get ze fuck outta the room so I could get ready. I made a complete impulse purchase of a OCC pink/black trucker hat at the PHL airport so I decided to pair that with my grey/pink shimmery skirt, jeans, and me miss kitty arm warmers. And off I went in search of the pirate rum and the coolest places in Toronto. The answer to both? QUEEN ST/KENSINGTON MARKET/CHINATOWN.

Oh yeah...con coverage. I got to the con around 1-ish (afternoon this time) and said my hellos to KOOP and STUART SAYGER. ANDEELEE was far away so I got something signed by CARY NORD and added him to the potential list of C.C.C.'s then E-Mart suggested we go shopping. HELLZ YEAH! We got a cab back to QUEEN St. and I bought:
BATTLE ROYALE 2 Disc DVD
JUON THE GRUDGE DVD
LOST HIGHWAY
FISCHERSPOONER-"EMERGE" single that I didn't have
A CUBAN CIGAR

I went into a ton of record shops looking for AC/DC and DURAN DURAN night versions of songs but came up empty handed. Me and E-Mart had a hella fun time just cruising the strip. We stopped a QUEEN SO-AND-SO's pub and had us a drink and some garlic bread, then headed back to the hotel. And so I waited...for the coming of THE LEE.

ANDY and his pal ALLAN arrived fashionably late, prolly close to 8. We got a ride over to VINNIE'S, where the con party was being held and I talked with ALLAN, CARY NORD, smoked me cuban and just enjoyed the scenery. There were alot of names there but I just was so happy to be hanging with THE LEE that I just chilled in one spot (outside--b/c you can't bloody smoke INSIDE!). E-Mart left us to get his groove on at a bar around the corner and that's when Ze Brickthrower, ANDELEE, and ALLAN took our leave of JD, KOOP and crew for some fun of our own.

Oh yes, my kittlings, I had a mission. I had to find JEREMIAH BULLFROGS, where J ROCK and MARK got engaged. And yes, I had been drinking, as we all had. So I got a little turned around, but was able to show A&A most of QUEEN ST., b/c its like SOUTH STREET but one hundred times better. We finally made it to JEREMIAH's, and then headed to the HORSESHOE for last call for alcohol, followed by more walking, then heading back to ANDEELEE's hotel for some guitar playing, talking and random shite.

Mr. Lee has lost his interior artist work for SAM AND TWITCH. So I'm making a FUCK TODD MCFARLANE sign right away.

I was thoroughly reemed out by JD the next day for not coming back to the hotel and being a big idiot. Which I totally deserved. B/c I was a bitch. But anyway, it was SUNDAY @ the con, and all was well. I ended up meeting my favorite TORONTO native, ALEXANDER AVELINO, who was hella cool, looks like USHER, and gave me the best. sticker. ever. (haha...I shall never tell~!). ALEX is an animator but is also a friendly guy who sculpts like a mofo and a style sense much like a guy named STUART SAYGER that I know. ANDELEE had been missed; you could tell by the people coming by and saying hello, asking how the drive was (everyone seemed to know that he was driving up for HOTLANTA for one day).

Oh yes, and I met RVD and he was a fucking cool guy. He asked about the comic shop and said he would try to check it out next time he was out that way. JD bought the pic with ROB VAN DAM for me, as well as an X-STATIX epilogue that inker CLARK put together. I will not read until the last issue comes out!!!!

JD's con coverage will no doubt be better! I will post a link when its up (he has WAY more pics too~!)

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Ghetto Goth Gal meets Basketball Diaries Leo. I'm Rick James Bitch...

Toronto-Con. Me and RVD. Nuff Said.

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

Saved by the Bell Bitches!!!!

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Toronto: Beware of Ze Brickthrower!

Tonight tonight tonight tonight we leave for TORONTO. I'm sooooo bloody excited!!!!
All packed, just need to remember to buy a disposable camera so I can actually get pictures of the insanity that will ensue.

What has been going on? I cancelled with GORMAN, against my better judgement, instead to hang with the crew (J Rock, Keg Leg, E-Mart, E-Lisha and Little John) and watch JUON THE GRUDGE again. YES!!!!
I really haven't done much this week except random emails and what not.

JEEMY called me @ work! And discussed my Andeelee story and other things. He wants to see more of my writing. And I want to be famous. So it goes.

I'm bringing exactly one comic to get signed and the rest of my money will be spent on paintings by Andeelee, drinks (PIRATE RUM TOO!!!), and Asian Cinema. Awww...can't wait!!!!!

Keg Leg got some insurance money so she can finally start replacing some of the stuff from the fire. Good for her. I told her Captain's Orders are to have fun this weekend and text me when fun things happen. The same goes for me.
Oi! We have a court date for the adoption of Iron Belly Shelly. July 15th. Can't wait to see if that fuckyer Larry actually shows up.

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6 Tranqs and a bottle of hell

me and ellis were pm'ing each other...and now he's disappeared. Don't cry for me Argentina.

I need JUON and BATTLE ROYALE more than anything else in the world. They will be mine in Toronto. Just you fucking watch.

My stomach hates me again. I remember a few years back when anything I ate made me want to vomit. Its back again. Do I keep trying to feed my body the poison or just starve myself and hope for the best?

Tomorrow I'm rocking out with Keg Leg @ her humble temporary abode. I worry for my gal all the time. She's the shite and she needs to be happy. And if I can't do it--one of you better make her smile. Or else skulls will be cracked and heads will roll.

Its only 20 after 11pm. I need some music. Time to play the Strickly Strychnine mix...::press play::

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Things to do in Toronto when You're Dead...

I still need to put together my Master List of C.C.C. (cute comic creators) for Stuart and his g/f to peruse. I need to decide what I"m going to wear. I need to cross my fingers and pray to the gods of Pirate-dom that Sir Andeelee actually makes it to Canada. I have to finish my WHAT YOU SHOULD BE... by tonight.

My business cards were delivered but no one was bloody home to get them. I'm going to have them redelivered to work here tomorrow. I just used a template off some site but I totally dig it. I'll actually have my own cards to hand out in Toronto!

Practice with DA BAND went pretty well for the first time. I think that everyone is laid back and yet creative enough to do something stellar. And LX can sing which is always a plus after Joe's screeching in HANDIWAX. We were supposed to meet a perspective drummer though yesterday but his "truck kinda blew up." Ugh...this is going to be the hardest part, no doubt.

Shacky is getting me a pirate flag in VIRGINIA BEACH. Yarr! I can't wait to see it!!!

I didn't really post about my weekend--but basically I had a kickass time rockin out @ the TRAPPE YMCA with Little Johnny's band. I saw Jamil who went to TEMPLE with me, and hung with Krissy's lil sis named HELENA who was this 10 year old girl who was just Rokken Like Dokken! Hehe...I skanked like I was 16 again. It was insanity. Then we went and chilled @ J Rock's. I crashed @ Ms. Irate's because I was lazy and didn't want to go home.

I can't really think of anything else that is interesting. I'm ready to take a trip to TORONTO and comic book geek-dom.

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The Time has Come, The Walrus Said, To Talk of Other Things

Andy Lee Interview <<<=====click here to read the best interview/story Ze Brickthrower has ever done. No really, I'm serious. Dead. Fucking. Serious.

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Its early...

Not even 8am yet and I'm already up. ON A SATURDAY!!! I set the alarm wrong or else I'd still be in dream land. I have to work @ Ye Olde Comic Book Shoppe today...and then me and KEG TO THE LEG are getting together for some random mayhem.

We have a couple ideas, nothing planned for sure yet:
1-Little Johnny's
2-Carlin's race (I forget what kinna race)
3-Mike, my new bandmate, is having friends over for some PS2 competition

**speaking of the band, I didn't get to practice the lines as much as I wanted, but I keep telling people how lame it is to practice basslines for yourself...**

Anyway, I'm hoping to run around and do something fun. Cross your fingers for me.
I played hooky yesterday from work and just sat around, cleaned random things, watched ROTK, and talked about the scariest movie ever, JU-ON. J to the Rizzock had me and Stefan come over on Thursday and watch it. Creepy as all hell.
I have no money. I suck.
Andelee emailed Keg Leg. Rock!

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They Make the Rounds @ the Midnight Hour
And on the clock its just a minute away...

Konichiwa Bitches!
JD went out to see HARRY POTTER 3 so I was left home to fend for myself. Mike came home and so I decided to the get the fuck outta dodge and head to south street for some random fun. I ended up @ the Pontiac Grill, where I sat, drank TULLEMORE DEW and COKE, read URB and wrote my next column. I now have 2 entries, with me thinking that DIE PUNY HUMANS is going to be my 3rd rant, followed by a short bonus of some sort. KILL BILL is looking to be my biggest feature which is cool b/c I watched it for the 4th time today. The film is bloody awesome.

My tummy hates me. I have been nauseous after every meal for the past week. I feel like I'm going to vomit up my intestines. I'm so hungry though too...strange.

Happy Birthday Louis!

I bought me mum's birthday prezzie and Daddy's Father's Day prezzie is next. Toron-Con is next week and the dates are up on Andeelee's site. How fucking great is that??? He is actually coming up! Insane boy, but I'm so glad I get to see him and will have someone to pal around in Canada. He's a kindred spirit--where JD makes base camp at one local bar, Andeelee is into exploring. And that is the main reason that I am heading to the Great White North! Hey hoser!

Say a little satanic prayer for Keg Leg in the hopes that she feels better after her teeth and ankle problems. Thanks loveys.

I have successfully banged out 2 of the 3 basslines I'm trying to learn this week. Mike, me new bandmate, sent me ze tab but I already had them pretty much completed. I would like to add shite here and there, but right now I'm just concentrating on memorizing what I need to. I'm so glad to be active in music again. And with the nature of this band it seems that I'll have a lot more room for creative expression. Which is good for when i'm not writing poetry or have writers block.

Some band name ideas:
+PURE IS POOR (from Jeff Noon's VURT)
+SENTIMENTAL FISTING (the lost NIN album?!?)
+CECILY'S SIN
+S.T.H. (STEP. TOWARDS. HELL.)
+CORRELATED TEARS
+GOTHCORE JUNKLIGHT (a combo of LX's and mine)

I'm getting very sleepy. And RENO 911 starts soon. Must watch and pass out.

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Lou’s Birthday Story…by Mary, Kelley, Jaime, Nick and Paul…06.07.04

Lou was so happy! It was his 30th Birthday and all the drunkards of the land had gathered at the local bar for some wine, women and song. As always, the women came first with their juicy bungholes that glistened under the bright moon. Their assholes were loose and easily penetrated. Lou was ready for a night of adventure and anal pleasure. He has ordered his first shipment of Vietnamese whores, when…
Skeet, Skeet, the whores were hot and ready. But OI! Problem…bamboo shoots? Oh decisions, decisions. So he went for it anyway.
And then Bob came in to tell him this wasn’t what the Punisher would do, drowned out by the thoughts of Zombies and someone who said he looked like Tom Cruise. Lou then decided to kill them. They died a death most painful, full of screams and sucking [sic] chest wounds.
Then suddenly, GOD appeared in the form of an Afghanistanian YMCA Bus Driver named Gus. Gus said to Lou:
“Lou, since you have made it this far in life and since you killed that pack of rabid Vietnamese anal sluts, You are my chosen prophet!” So Lou’s first chuch, called “THE TEMPLE OF THE BLEEDING ULCER” was formed on the very spot of COMICS & MORE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. CYPHERE!!!!!

Rock'n'Roll

Just a quick run down of shite I got going on:

+met with the band, got the demo, listened to it, totally digging it, start writing bass lines ASAP (and Mike's sending me tab just in case)

+Weekend at the rents was fun. Saw HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN and dug it. Gary Oldman makes anything 20 times better. Had Shell watch KILL BILL, which she totally dug. I'm gonna make that kid the coolest 8th Grader ever! She loves CKY and MONTY PYTHON as well. She's also less than an inch shorter than me and she's only 12!!!

+Went to the Gravel Pike with Keg Leg and John yesterday...white trash bars are fun!!!

+Got to talk to Andy Lee this weekend, and he might be coming up to TORON-CON!!! He's got a show Friday, but is hoping to leave directly after and make it to Toronto by mid day Saturday. If that happens, I will freak out completely. My mom wants him to paint a huge picture of Mema's house. That's how much she loved THE BELOVED SIDNEY painting he did for me. Bloody awesome!

+Tonight JD is actually joining me @ Fridays with ze comic shop crew. Kickass!

+Me and Jeemy are discussing HARRY POTTER via email...and JD is attempting to get MM to send me those books he promised. cross your fingers for me!!!

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Yes, my bass guitar has a name. I call it special sauce because of the colors. McDonalds Special Sauce is made with MAYO and KETCHUP. My guitar is copper with an ivory pickguard. Its the coolest damn bass you ever will see. Its an IBANEZ EXPRESSIONIST aka pretty damn slick.

Quizzo. Bitches.

WE ARE 138 is our team name this week. Glenn Danzig is raising the sign of SATAN to the sky, singing:

"Ze Brickthrower's Quizzo Team will rule the world!!!"

Have planned Saturday dinner in Toronto with Stuart Sayger and his girlfriend. This weekend is the 'rents, no one to go with
:o( but I shall persevere. Daddy-O will take a look @ some paperwork for me and I'm gonna see HARRY POTTER 3 (my first in ze theatre--this one looks so FUCKING cool--and dammit if Little Harry Potter is turning into quite a looker! Jailbait!)

+I also meet me new bandmates tomorrow for HAPPY HOUR and a quick chat over cocktails. Pulled out Special Sauce from the basement and jammed a little bit.

+Quizzo. Must think of Quizzo.

+I'm pretty sure I'm exhibiting early signs of Carpal Tunnel.

+head is pounding!

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Study Hall 6.1.04

I am sitting behind him in this dank lecture hall.

"Space, Time and Motion"
written on paper with the hurried
illegible chicken scratch of an
Apathetic Icon

He is on autopilot--head down and then
SHOOTS back up to catch the next line
on the blackboard.

Submerged...pressure...emerged.

There are ink stains covering
his olive fingers and arms
with a pattern all its own.
Endless time spent pouring
over books, scribbling like DAS FUHRER.
Pencil eraser lodged in jagged bitten nails.

He wears his intensity like a plastic
sheriff's badge tacked lopsided to
his GI JOE T-shirt and then he
has turned around.

A nick on his face glares @ me and
says: "Das Ist Mein Kampf"
But the smile on his face is deceving...
A shiver of desire runs down
my spine
and he feels
the relief of victory pulse
through his chest
down his arms,
to his fingers
where written on page I peer over his shoulder to see:
"This is so high school."

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My Passport Photo. December 1998.

Prom 1998. Black Roses. Damn I was Bloody cool! ~tee hee~

Rock'n'Roll Kids...Rock'n'Roll

So um, I'm in a band again! Ok, I was just asked not an hour ago to join LX's new project, and of course I said yes! Its been MUCH TOO MUCH TOO long since I've picked up Ze Special Sauce (yeah, I have a name for my bass! Its too cute not to!) and rocked out. And it sounds like goth/metal goodness. I'm totally down. I had tried to get in on Little John and Elisha's band a few months back but they had just found a bassist. And J to the Rizzock has been talking about a band forever, but nothing as of yet has materialized.

LX has a guitarist, some songs, and its sounding pretty damn good right now. I need something new to pass the time.

Oh cross your fingers for me that this ends up working out!

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