10.30.2004

I'm not even married and I'm already THE BRIDE...-OR- how SOUL CALIBER II is worthy of worship.

~in MORTAL KOMBAT DECPETION anyway...that's my profile name. JD always comes up with the best nicknames. Ze Brickthrower! wouldn't fit. So THEBRIDE it is. And I'm stuck on SUB ZERO...my least favorite character. Its the Bitches that's Gitchas...

LAST NIGHT! I watched DONNIE DARKO--which is a Halloween-esque movie that many people may overlook. It all takes place in October and Frank the Bunny IS a Halloween costume. That's a really good excuse isn't it? The real reason is DIESELBOY. I've owned this CD for what, like 3 or 4 months now? Maybe more. I have listened to it COPIOUS amounts of times. And today I realized the first song has dialogue from DONNIE DARKO...or at least I thought I did. So I had to know if I was right. And when the final words came out of JAKE GYLENHAAL's pretty lips:
"No...that's stupid" <==the end of the dialogue
I screamed in delight!!!! Being right is what keeps me alive. So yes, DD and then this awesome movie with COLIN CLIVE in it called MAD LOVE--what a great fucking flick. Creepy and Halloween-like too.
Around 9-ish I went over to LX and Val's for some pizza and X-Box playing. We played MK Deception for awhile (my profile name is KID in those parts), and then SOUL CALIBER II--um ROCK? I dig those games if only for their simplicity. It was a 3-3 score and we played one final game @ quarter one. You could cut the tension with a knife...but I lost. So yeah, that sucked. I wish SOUL CALIBER had hari kiri moves in it. When I got home I passed out watching OZ. HOTT!

THIS MORNING! Me and JD finished watching the OZ 3rd season. Rock'n'Roll. I also wrote up a little email/proposal for owner Nick. We're all caught up now. And now here I sit in anticipation of
TONIGHT! Stefan's costume party. The costume is kickass, if I do say so myself, if only in its simplicity--just like SOUL CALIBER II. That always helps. But first I must work @ the mall from the hours of 4-9:30pm. 2 of those with Bran, then finish it out with J-Z. I hope that J-Z and Mr. Cyphere come to the party. But you never know--you just never know.

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10.29.2004

All Hail Queen Mary, Ze Brickthrower and Ruler of The Pathetic...

I can't even say I'm wretched. I'm too pathetic to be wretched.

I'm overdrawn on my acct. again. AGAIN. I've had discussions about this with Frankie, Alex Cubed and JD about this and have decided to try to take a lesson from SOUNDGARDEN and
"burrow down in and
blow up the outside world" for awhile.
The method to my madness is this: next paycheck the only money I'm spending on entertainment will be on rum and then I'm gonna finish Mortal Kombat, do some movie/music reviews, write some music for Frankie to mess around with, and basically save my fucking money. I hate this shite. Seriously...being broke is so beat.

Have I mentioned how happy having a kitchen table has made me? I can read whilst eating dinner instead of sitting in front of the TV like a zombie. Its the little things...

I watched THE TESSERACT tonight to review. It was mos def an interesting movie. A little trite and obvious in its theme but the director (OXIDE PANG) used many different film styles which made for some contemplative viewing. I may need to watch certain scenes again--the whole film is circular and folds in on itself many times. So I think that he used different film for each of these flashbacks, or turnbacks if you will. The next 2 films I'm reviewing we have on DVD so that makes my life a little less cold (no going down in the basement for a couple hours). Me and JD did get downstairs tonight to file comics and I messed around with my JUNO. Got the I HEART HUCKABEES and SKY CAPTAIN posters up so JD dubbed my screening spot "THE CORNER OF JUDE". I may miss I HEART HUCKABEES in the theater but dammit if ALFIE is already GIRL PORN APPROVED© and I'm already so bloody there to see that one.

My DARICK ROBERTSON presidential interview is up: http://www.simplyjd.com <===do it. do it. do it. Alex Miller edited it. He's doing a kickass job so far--really making my life ALOT easier. Can't wait to start working on the C.C.C.

And now I ask: "WHAT YOU WAITIN FOR??? Take a chance you stupid ho." God what a great line.

J-Z bought my poor ass a black tie to complete my Halloween costume. Really, even if said costume party-goers have not seen KILL BILL, my sword is gonna make the outfit badass anyway. It better! Or else I'll cry. Or at least slice up Stefan's turntables. Actually if Ry and Stefan don't spin I'll be proper pissed. Ry's a CRAZY 88 as well, his sword is fake though. So I win. Even if I can't go to Drac's Ball I really think that this party should be hella fun. I'm hoping I can get one or 2 friends to come with me, but if not then I'll just bug the Brit Wayne b/c nothing occupies time better than listening to a British accent.

So yeah....i'm frisky. That's all I'll say. And I can't be more glad tomorrow is Friday. I have to write up a short proposal regarding the Sunday Con's for owner Nick. That will be my fun Friday night activity. Well that and watching myself fail over and over again @ Mortal Kombat Konquest mode. Honestly I haven't felt that social and I'm trying to save up any talk I have in me for Saturday. I have work and then the party and I want to have fun.

I wish I could tell if this one guy that I IM on YAHOO! is joking or he really just lives his life to get on my last nerve. I can never tell. We get all salty to each other but we just keep talking. Its like we're both gluttons for punishment (see Alex!? another of the 7 deadly sins. Oi! I have the LUST living dead doll--there's another! I just watched SE7EN I could do this all night!).

Ok, ACTION RADAR just came on and now I want to go to club so bad. Oi! NYC BIG APPLE CON in less than a month. That is gonna rule the hizzouse. KOOP is getting us a room, M! is gonna be there, so hopefully we can get some clubbing or extra curricular rum drinking with Frankie scheduled in there. I'm looking forward to con's again and I've only been outta the game for a couple months. Its addictive. Esp. b/c I just use it as an excuse to drink and smoke in excess. Like a fucking rock star, if only of the geek world.

I'm just rambling at this point...but I think I've covered everything that I've been missing. Stay tuned kittlings...I just keep on subsisting somehow.

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10.27.2004

My thoughts on THE GRUDGE

Marcus Aurelius pointed out I hadn't really talked about THE GRUDGE on my blog and I did indeed see it opening night with JD, J-Z, Louis Cyphere, Melissa, Kurt and his son in tow. Kurt has seen it earlier in the day (he took a client to see it--how rock is that???) and so about an hour before we were scheduled to meet up with anyone, I got the phone call. Of the sound...the scary sound that is prevalent in every JUON film and then in THE GRUDGE. I called him back and cursed him out (but don't be surprised if this becomes the new scary way to "get someone" after they've seen the film).

In truth, I've seen the movie already. SHIMUZU blended together all of his previous JU-ON efforts quite nicely to create a more coherent and thrill ride of a story. There were only 2 scenes that I had no idea what was going to happen in them. TOSHIO, my boy, was different but good. I am still a fan of the TOSHIO from the second TV version the best. He's the cutest little TOSHIO there is. hehe...BILL PULLMAN was great, BUFFY was ok, and I LURVED that they used the same father as they used in all the previous films. Good move on their part. I was hoping to see BOBA @ some point...but to no avail. He needs to be in something American so people besides J-Z will know who I"m talking about.

A rather short movie, but had all my favorite parts, including making some of the parts I know and love (the elevator scene) even creepier. People in the theatre were going nuts. I want to see it again. Even after knowing the story and everything, I still had to have JD go to bed with me. And on Monday morning, I woke up early from sleeping to pee, and I could go back to bed for about half and hour b/c I was worried that TOSHIO and his mom were hovering just over my shoulder...ech.

Not having money sucks. Nevertheless, JD is being my benefactor for the rest of my costume AND for some dinner fixins' so we can have Taco's tonight. Very cool. Work is slow (knocketh on wood) and I didn't wake up with a hangover. So far, so good. Even if the lethargy is still there.
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10.26.2004

State of Emergency...is Where I want to be...

I really don’t know how I feel today. BLAH might be a good word to describe it…

First off, I’m not going to DRACULA’s BALL. Val and LX even offered to pay for my ticket and JD is helping me buy the rest of my costume. But the problem is money. And I don’t like going out on someone else’s dime, even if they were nice enough to offer. I’m still going to Stefan’s party, which is free, and I’m going as a CRAZY 88 still (which means I can carry around my kickass sword; at Drac’s ball I wouldn’t be able to bring it in with me). His party should be fun and LX, Val, Marc and Nicole all plan on attending so I think I can make the most of that and not worry about missing out on my favorite night of the year. Halloween is the coolest holiday hands down. Any excuse for me to wear something out of the ordinary is a good holiday.

I just spent WAY TOO MUCH money this weekend. I bought MORTAL KOMBAT DECEPTION, and alcohol, and IKEA furniture (we have a kitchen table now! This makes me infinitely happy), and the TITANIC EXHIBIT tickets for the proposal and all. I bought a blazer for my costume—money I guess I didn’t have to spend but tis too late now. Money on bills and so on. Alex Cubed commented that money comes and goes, so its nothing to trouble my pretty little head about. I wish I wouldn’t trouble my pretty little head about a great many things.

My Darick interview is in the process of edit with the aforementioned Alex, who has become my editor. So far he’s doing a great job, of course he’s only edited one piece for me but it was in a timely manner…and we all like that. The Darick story is completely based on the upcoming election. I think that its different enough to hopefully get some attention from other sites. Cross your fingers for me. I’ve been watching a lot of OZ. I’ve been slightly lethargic. I signed up for a discussion group that PALAHNIUK is actually running on B&N.com for his book DIARY. That should be pretty neat.

Frankie is going through some hard times right now and I just hope he’s ok. I’ve started getting hella excited about November’s BIG APPLE CON. Koop is getting us a room and there are a lot of cool creators that plan to be there. And its in NYC how can you beat that?

The new owner of my comic shop is interested in having me do the monthly Sunday con’s for him, so I’m planning on writing up a unofficial proposal of what would need to happen for me to do it. JD needs to be involved first off as he is the idea man. He doesn’t want to sell or take care of money or anything like that, that’s all stuff I don’t mind. I don’t know. I love knowing I’ll have my Saturdays back after this Saturday, so I don’t want this to become another burden. Owner Nick was very cool about the whole thing and talked to me very matter-of-factly and I respect that. But I think that if something seems off or certain people get involved, then I’m out. Really at this point he can take it or leave it. We may still not be getting paid for the site but its taking off, slowly but surely.

I just don’t feel like doing much of anything. I hate feeling this way…my head needs a shave…I need to wash my hair b/c its disgusting. I have comics to read and whatnot…argh…I hate when life becomes a series of things to do. And the things just keep piling up. Its gotta be the weather.
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10.24.2004


So I am officially engaged...

Today I took JD to the TITANIC EXHIBITION @ the Franklin Institute. Nearing the end of the exhibit (which was pretty cool even though I don't go much for that stuff), they had a guestbook to sign. I had lost my nerve to ask him @ the staircase and all that shite, it was do or die. So I wrote it to him. So that it would be there for awhile. The people around us couldn't believe I was actually doing it. And to top it all off, its the ONE RING from LORD OF THE RINGS, so the geekiness was in full effect.
As you can see above, he said yes. And all was right in the world.
Now if I could just get rid of this terrible headache. Thanks everyone for the well wishes! :o)

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10.20.2004


Boston Common--Homesick as a motherfucker...
A PIRATE'S TRIP TO BOSTON

day 1
10.14.2004.
Its 10:30am and I'm already buzzy. Not drunk or sloppy but one Guiness, one Smirnoff Razberi on the Rocks sort of buzzy. I was excited finding the LORD OF THE RINGS exhibit was in Boston and now REALLY wished that JD was with me. I didn't want to call him already and he say "save the good stuff for when you get home" and so I shall write instead of talk.
I am going to Boston by myself. Its mostly b/c I couldn't find anyone to go with me and JD can't take vacation with me. But mostly its out of spite. Watch me go to some city where I know NO ONE and have a good time. I don't need you/them/anyone and I never did! But in the back of my head I feel the need for companionship and feel the only person I'm punishing is myself.
Now I have to pee. And the plane hasn't even taken off yet.
My stay @ a hostel seems like an experience in of itself. I find that the one I picked is farther from anything I wanted to visit but decide to stay there and if everything off, then I'll pop a couple of tranqs and knock myself out.
2pm.
I'm @ CLARKES, right near QUINCY MARKET, a bar that had the look of less touristy than most. Bust of course, I'm a tourist trying to blend in--but my black ensemble makes me stick out like a sore thumb b/c everybody around here are tourists. The rain is what pulled me inside--pissing down on me and my new velvet suit. In my roundabout travels of the streets so far I spied a smoking lounge which means a cigar in the near future. ORDER: Jameson and Coke. Chicken Fingers. I'm surprised by a call from RON T. from the message boards I frequent with a plan to meet up Friday. The message board is quite the phenomenom. It automatically breaks the ice for anyone meeting for the first time in person. You always will inherently have the boards even if you have never interacted with that person before. I wish I could smoke a ciggie bult like all my favorite cities, you can't, not inside anyway. In the end tiredness and the wearther sends me back to my hostel-back to bed-to sleep away a few hours.
9:31pm.
It has been an eventful evening. I woke up to the voices of my roommates, whom I never turned around to actually see, but stayed in bed until restlessness overcame me. Upon leaving hte hostel--the panic and homesick and fear set in--and for about 20 mins. I was considering holding myself up in any hotel I could find until my flight back to Philly. But I set out to find a good place to eat and stumbled upon THE GREEN DRAGON, meeting place of the revolution, and decided to rest my feet there for a bit. I met a civil engineer from Seattle and we got to talking about Haunted Spots in and around Boston. He recommended Salem and at this time my mom called to check in on me as I knew she would. She said "It sounds like you're having a good time" and I could finally say I was. Even though it was just tourists conversing, it was enough social activity to ready myself for a few more hours of silence. I left THE GREEN DRAGON and headed towards the smoking bar I had seen on my first trek out. But before that I visited THE HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL and sunk in to the real life horrors of the 20th Century. The memorial is beautiful and horrible; a towering monument of green stone and smoke, numbers reading even more omniously than names. I snapped picture after picture of the monument and didn't care about anything about the loud frat boys within ear shot from the bars adjacent to me. To be in one of those pillars and see the grates with lights shimmering like stars in the night sky-a representation of the gas chambers, billowing steam to fill the towers. It was moving. More moving than any memorial I've ever visited. And so now I sit in CHURCHILL'S LOUNGE, smoking a server-recommended cigar and taking pics of myself in various states of smoking and sipping merlot. Most likely the youngest person here. And I'm content. I attempted calling JD to no avail, I'm hoping he's out with MIKE OEMING, although most likely him and and Cav's are watching a movie I wanted to see-and I'm content. My first night in Boston and I'm content. Fuck anxiety. Fuck Meds. Fuck it all. Sure I'm taking them but I know maybe in some way this provies I can get by. That I can be independent. My own person. And this more than anything makes me happy.
Day 2
10.15.2004 1:40pm
I wake up with a headache and the smell of sweat emanating off me. I had decided in leaving CHURCHILL'S to visit one last bar for my 3rd nightcap. A cover band was playing 80's rock and their cover of "I WANT YOU TO WANT ME" got me on the dance floor, which is the only excuse I have for my actions. Bust fuck it, I'll dance to anything. It was 8am--a full hour before my alarm was set to go off and 2 hours before check out time but the nausea in my gully-wuts and cottonmouth proved strong enough for me to get dressed in some bumming around clothes and attempt to get a cab. I say attempt because every taxi I flagged was either occupied or was note willing to drive all teh way to Cambridge. My need to get to my hotel was so dire that I took the subway and realized it wasn't that bad. I am unusally scared of public transportation in other cities, particularly subways. But I made it to my destination just in time to be told my room was not available. Surprise surprise as it was only 9am!
I checked my bags and headed down MASSACHUSETTS AVE. where I spent entirely too much money, and frankly I should be ashamed of myself. The used bookstores intrigues me the most, where I purchased a 3 book slipcased collection of DANTE's THE DIVINE COMEDY, and a gift for my boss. I was able to make it to HARVARD SQUARE and saw the Chess Master who will play you and kick your ass for $2. NEWBURY COMICS provided a place for me to go toy-wild, getting Keg Leg a TOWELIE figure, a SPIRITED AWAY gift set for JD and POWERS #5 so I coud read what the fuss was all about (even though I have a copy waiting for me @ my comic shop back home). I made myself proud and only went into 1 record shop where I found my very first DURAN DURAN record, but also POWER STATION, PRINCE 1999, THE BATMAN SOUNDTRACK, and RICK SPRINGFIELD. Upon returning to the hotel, I went online in the lobby and got my ticket for the LOTR exhibition @ the MUSEUM OF SCIENCE (m.o.s.). I was able to check into my room at last and was so happy with the ultra-swank accomodations that my father provided that I rescheduled my meet-up with RON T. and stayed in until is was time to leave for the exhibit.
6pm
After ordering a mouth-watering sirloin steak from room service and gussying myself up as if I was off to see LEGOLAS himself, I navigated the T to the M.O.S. I had fun before my scheduled entry time (note: The LOTR people take themselves WAY too seriously; no phototgraphy or cell phones, no large bags, no entry before marked time--you would think they were showing off the CROWN FUCKING JEWELS)so I played in the other exhibit halls--although it was more kid firenly than anything else. I did get a picture of a NABOO starfighter from STAR WARS and a mock-up schoolhouse gave me the perfect chance to film some role playing shots. I waited in line to enter the exhibit and was in awe from start to finish. Turning the first corner, the very first thing you encounter is a hulking life-sized (as if they are REAL) Cave Troll. I was particularly interested in LEGOLAS' costume and weaponry, although SAURON's armor, GANDALF's grey costum and a replice RINGWRAITH also gave me goose bumps. The room where the ONE RING was kept was a circular enclosure of darkness, with fire dancing on the walls and the ONE RING suspended in water. I found out through an interactive height-measurer-thing that I am tall enough to be a human, Wizard or Elf. I MIGHT have attempted to shoot a couple pictures of LEGOLAS' costume and the ONE RING. Every major character was represented as well as all the armor. A lifesize URUK-HAI was frightening, even minature versions of the 2 Towers were impressive. My inner geekiness prevailed; upon leaving the exhibit there is a boat with a fallen BAROMIR laid to rest and I got choked up.
I arrived home and almost entered the CELTIC bar on the corner but was accosted by a drunk boy who was a little too pushy about getting me inside with him. The night ended with a bubble bath and a half bottle of Shiraz.
Day 3
10.16.2004.
No hangover but a backache from walking a backpacking began a downward spiral of a day. I take the T downtown and purchase an 1896 edition of the BIBLE for my mum and a book on DALI for Frankie. I walk through BOSTON COMMON and PUBLIC GARDEN, then trek the whole of NEWBURY STREET looking for an extra bag to carry back all my purchases. The entirety of the street was full of stores I wish I could afford. I went into a few and even tried a curbside flea market but in the end only and Army/Navy store had something affordable. My money was dwindling and I had heard from RON T. I had been toying with the idea of leaving a few days early but it was apparent that this was an imperative. I ended up paying more for my one way Sunday flight home than the first round trip to Boston, and this was including a 2 hour layover @ Laguardia. On my way to the hotel after my annoying shopping trip I took a different way back, off the main drag, and ran into the much written about MANRAY. MANRAY has the distinction of being a club that catered to goth/industrial, instead of making it a one night-thing. If RON T. never phoned me, this would conclude my final night in Boston.
What followed that evening was insanity personified. I had a HUGE fight with JD, I was stood up by the boardie, I had crying and pacing bouts in my room. I skipped dinner, well unless you count the Shiraz and Merlot I poured down my gullet. Me and JD resolved our problems and I made myself go dancing. The club was awesome--the front room was devoted to 70's Glitz but the back room housed a caged stage and floor for dancing conjoined with a kickass group of goth/industrial/fetish people whoe were all friendly in an uncharacteristically goth-way. I had a great time although I only stayed for 2 hours. The need to go back to my room and order pizza overcame me. I had gone full circle on this trip--and in the end I think I won. But loneliness seems to overwhelm me and that is a weakness that I need to work on.
http://www.picturetrail.com/psychowank <===click on the BOSTON album.
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Me and my sis Shacky Red Handed @ Ze Bar in H-Burg...

10.17.2004

Fuck All! Exactly as predicted...



Which Trainspotting Character Are You?


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10.15.2004

Just a quick hello...

I am recording all of this for posterity via the writtern word in my pirate notebook. But I wanted to check in to remind myself that I'm having a complete blast and that my mom is amazed that I'm able to do all this traveling by myself. Her and Aunt Mary envy me. That's got to be worth something somewhere right?
About to take a bubble bath in one swank hotel,
yours truly,
ZE BRICKTHROWER!
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10.13.2004

Locked, Stocked and 2 Carry-Ons...

So 12 hours from now I'll be having a shuttle come round and take me to the airport. My first vacation (not con related) by myself ever. And this week I've been totally weirded out and sorta making myself want to get out of it. But I persevered with help from JD and here I am. Ready to go. Packed. Hair is dyed FIRE RED so that means my scalp is too.
My first night will be spend in NORTH END @ a hostel. Its the little Italy of Boston. Friday takes me to Cambridge for 2 nights stay in a proper hotel. I think I'll be doing a lot of staying in then--since I'll have a hotel room all to myself. Buy some Calgon and have it take me away or something. But probably not--there is a comic shop, a poetry shop and a place with GRENDEL in the name so I have to visit it for JD.
Sunday and Monday I'm back @ a hostel and leave promptly Tuesday morning.
I am bringing more pink on this trip that should be allowed by law.
I think that my hostel has internet as I'm sure the hotel does so although I plan on travelogueing the whole thing the old-fashioned way, with pen and ink, I may check in from time to time here to post some fun things or something I would like to remember.
I can't bloody wait. Now, I'm off to watch the final eppy's of season 1 of OZ. ~rage, kittlings, rage~
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10.12.2004

The Queen of Pathetic furthers her shame spiral...

oi...it only gets better.
I have only 80 bucks to spend out of my acct. The rest of my money in Boston will be put on my Visa. Probably from cash advances!!! ROCK!!!!!!!!

I'm such a fucking whore.

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10.11.2004

I lost my check card...again.

I'm taking a vacation all by myself.
I am out of tranqs but GORMAN refilled my script thank fucking god.
I still cry every time I think about my uncle.
I got candle wax on my favorite pair of pants.
These pants are hurting me b/c my spare bike tire seems to be getting bigger...rock!

All in all, I would like to dub myself "mary the wretched, queen of the pathetic"

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10.10.2004

I'm writing about R.E.M.

Who would've thought that I could write better about seminal college rock bands than comics...yeah...me neither.
I can't get ahold of Frank--the email thang is not working out right now. This makes me sad.
My tummy is ill again. This is the 3rd time this week. I can't even blame this on alcohol. Ech...it just feels all acidy and wrong.
On Friday I went out to the Indy, then over to Ry and Stefan's to watch movies. I thought I was going to hang out with Ry but he then later left me to go out with his friends to a strip club. I thought that was hella lame but was to drunk or in disbelief to say anything. Stefan and Jackie ended up staying and hanging with me...I was over there forever. As I was leaving, I fell (wow...big surprise) and got candle wax all over my pants and messenger bag. I'm such a clumsy bizzotch sometimes...
Saturday I worked and felt like shite most of the day. Me, Lou and J-Z headed over to Fridays to meet Jay and say our goodbyes; he has sold the store to a cop and so I go on payroll. I'm interested in seeing what they're going to do with the store. I consider this month my observation month. I'm barely there anyway but they want to conventions and I've been talking with Bran about that forever. We then went back to J-Z's then hung at the FTC show but didn't stay for them. Back to J-Z's where we played MORTAL KOMBAT and watched ZEBRAMAN, which was a little long but a HI-larious asian cult flick. The father from JU-ON is in it for about 2 seconds...its fun to play JU-ON spotting. I got nauseous again so instead of staying at J Rock's as planned, I ended up coming up with Wendy's in hand...
Sunday--TODAY--I woke up early and watched a new ON DEMAND eppy of HOME MOVIES and then AMERICAN SPLENDOR which was such a bloody good movie. A good comic book movie, those babies are hard to find. Me and JD went over to TOYS R US and I got Halloween candy. I wanted MORTAL KOMBAT so bad but I'm gonna see how much money I have leftover from Boston.
Speaking of JU-ON, I joined THE GRUDGE group on MYSPACE.com and plugged my columns on the series. 2 weeks baby...and then its out. Can't wait. Just watched it again on Friday--Stefan was way more down with it this time. That's always cool.
I am going to bloody BOSTON in 4 days...I'm insanely psyched in a very subtle way.
And I'M LISTENING TO *THE STREETS* [ORIGINAL PIRATE MATERIAL]. OI! OI! OI!
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10.07.2004

Me email to Frank--in its entirety:

what?i'm sorry. That must be so annoying.DIESELBOY is spinning tonight @ FLUID. I'm going with my friend Alicia. Not till 10-ish. I was gonna take a shower but I guess it be best to wait now. I'm gonna dance up a fucking storm.

I dance by myself. I can't be burdened with circles of girls or another guy (I do it--but only every once in awhile). Me and LX used to be perfect dancing partners; 2 pale dancers in the dark, about 10 feet away from each other commanding space like the bitches that we were. Him, 6' 7" w/o platforms (he must have been close to seven with teh ones he wore), spiky blond air, and moves like an asian warrior. Me, almost 6 foot even with 3-inch lace up boots/platforms, glamour goth and a modified-robot disco 2000 choreography. Those were the days...

I call Drum and Bass dancing spazzes on crack. I can't bloody wait! :)
(i'm posting this on my blog--exactly as is).
xoxoxo
~mary e.

10.06.2004

Mary and JD
  • Are rumoured to have adopted no identical girls.
  • Wish to lovingly serenade each other in private.
  • Share a deep puddle of secrets.
  • Hold out hope.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

Burberry Touch For Women

Oi! Stop me if I'm wrong! <==the streets. Ze Brickthrower! <==obsessed.

Tonight I have done fuck all except listen to music, drink pirate rum and post on message boards. The life of a complete geek. COMPLETE und TOTAL. I'm also going to be heading over to LX and Val's for some conversation and alcohol.

I'm not really hungry because I was in on the quarterly meeting and they served sandwiches. And I said something and impressed my boss and the account's boss. Rock'n'Roll. I felt like such a teacher's pet but it was a fucking good idea! Bloody hell!

My Napster Playlist (the whole thing):

Unoriginal Pirate Material
The Streets - Dry Your Eyes
Sneaker Pimps - Low Place Like Home
Primitive Radio Gods - Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand
Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground (The Perfecto Mix)
The Streets - Same Old Thing
Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now
Sneaker Pimps - Spin Spin Sugar (Armand's Dark Garage Mix)
The Streets - Has It Come to This?
Prodigy - Action Radar (Album Version)
Sneaker Pimps - Tesko Suicide
The Streets - The Irony of It All
Felix Da Housecat , Nina Simone - Sinnerman [Felix Da Housecat's Heavenly House Mix (Extended Instrumental)]
The Streets - It's Too Late
Sneaker Pimps - Becoming X
Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over
Tom Tom Club - Wordy Rappinghood
The Streets - Stay Positive
Sneaker Pimps - Post-Modern Sleaze
The Chemical Brothers, Chemical Brothers, The - Let Forever Be
No Doubt - Bathwater [LP]
The Streets - Who Got the Funk?
Daft Punk - One More Time
The Streets - Turn the Page
Sneaker Pimps - Waterbaby
U2 - With or Without You
The Streets - Sharp Darts
Belly - Feed the Tree
Sneaker Pimps - Roll On
7 Year Bitch - 8-Ball Deluxe
The Streets - Weak Become Heroes
Babes in Toyland - Sweet '69
Orbital - Halcyon (7" Version)
Sneaker Pimps - Wasted Early Sunday Morning
Destiny's Child - Bills, Bills, Bills [Maurice's Xclusive Livegig Mix Edit]
The Streets - Don't Mug Yourself
Sneaker Pimps - Walking Zero
Propellerheads - Spybreak!
The Streets - Let's Push Things Forward
Maroon 5 - This Love
Sneaker Pimps - How Do
The Streets - Blinded By The Lights
Sneaker Pimps - Spin Spin Sugar
The Streets - Too Much Brandy

Its only 7pm. That is such good news!
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10.05.2004


Halloween 2003. Bloody insane nurse.
Its JUDE and its THE STREETS. BRIT WEEK in ze Brickthrower's home it seems...
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Halloween 2002

Halloween 2001 I was DARTH MAUL BITCHES!!!!
A haiku for Jude:

You are brit-boy cool
That smile, a gift from God
Ah! eyes a blue pool.


Obsess much?
Quick Snap...

Work is not ending quick snap. Its like slow motion. Word on my street is that THE STREETS is the shite. I'm like obsessed with this kid and he's probably younger than me but his rhymes are insane. His british accent helps of course.

So yeah...NYC was the bomb. I feel like I only really walked around 2 little areas and didn't even touch the surface of the place. Sid is cool and Keg to da Leg is happy with him. Frankie B. was my hero...just as cool IRL as he is on this internet thang. I sent him an ANDY LEE freddy krueger painting today. I haven't heard from ANDEELEE and I hope he's ok...after the accident he's been MIA.

Mr. Sayger however went above and beyond; not only sending me 3 stellar brit-pop discs but cutting up a print of the exclusive image he had on our site and making it he cd covers. That was nice! I of course taped the whole thing back together and hung it in my office. I love being surrounded by all this art...its inspiring.

Tonight I hope to watch ROSEMARY'S BABY and also being my MARILYN MANSON best of....cd review. I am still having trouble downloading the new REM so I may have to opt out of that for something else. Don't know what yet.

Here is a new poem I'm working on:
10.5.2004.
In death I will still stress
In pain I'll still restrain
Stoic as a saint and quiet
and quaint

And not at all what you
think I would be...
Because what you see
was never me.

I wish that a dream
as it seams with a seeming
a sort of,
a doing

Even in sleep I sigh
with a dread and a head
full of...
overflowing with...

***that's all I got so far***

The new trailer for THE GRUDGE is bloody insane. TOSHIO looks scary as hell. Oct. 22nd kittlings...I can't wait! I haven't seen a movie opening night since KILL BILL 2...it will be an event of epic proportions. I would like to do a haunted hayride/barn/corn maze soon. Cav's was talking about it but JD doesn't seem to keen on them. I am obsessed with being scared. Makes me feel alive I guess.

I still have trouble talking about my uncle. And in case any of Jake's friends are reading this right now--don't you give a fuck that he's going to die if he keeps drinking? He's got HEP C, and he's drinking. Put 2 & 2 together. Its his life but he's also someone that you should be worrying about losing as a friend. He's a good person and he doesn't deserve to feel this worthless.

~sorry, just had to rant there~

I had my coffee black this morning and it wasn't that bad. I'm fiending for a ciggie, a stiff drink and some more HOUSE OF LEAVES. I started reading it again but just broke that point where I need more ASAP.

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10.03.2004

Me and My Akuma 10.3.2004.

Me and My Akuma
met quite planned happenstance
on a crowded city street

The fire never left his eyes.
I was frightened by his stare
but ready to read the
contract.

The contract that would sell
my soul
for even more than rock
and roll...

A chance to live again.

Because, see, my heart
had stopped beating when I met
you--I lost my way and found
a mess
I must confess
in death
was the only way to find you.

My Akuma--the fire never left his eyes.
Cyclops-Style
He kept them cloaked--my dead bones
would make a fine powder dust
from the piercing
of his stare.

The bar we sat in was dense
with the crush of the soon to be dead.
Its contaminating chemical lay thinly
over skin.
but it was as close
enough to life
as I had ever been.

And was ready to sign away the soul
I stole from God himself
for a chance @ greatness.
For I had been waiting in the
wings for years, through toil
and tears...for this.

Because I needed it back
the need stronger than the pride...sometimes.

This Akuma, he pressed red hot fingertips
into my back--he
led me with dread through a crowd
and the sounds
on the streets.

so...

I pierced myself with a needle and
spilled blood for you.
And for me. My selfish ways.

Because me and My Akuma knew
there was a method to
our madness.

And the method is connection.
*edited 10.5.04*
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I visited New York City today and lurved it to death.
Here's some pics. The rest: http://www.picturetrail.com/psychowank (album: NYC.SKC.2004)


M! and F! in nyc.

10.02.2004


Star Wars Bitches! And you wonder why New York rules?

Walking up poles in NYC...I was next in line...

Dana and me @ the NBC store

NYC me and brad
Its on...and I didn't even wash my hair...

First of all, did the by myself photo shoot. Check it: http://www.picturetrail.com/psychowank

The new album is called MARY's SO VAIN and has all my photo shoot and me-related pics...

I'm about to get on a greyhound bus and I really would like a MOMOSA right now. Instead I'm having a bit of Ze Pirate's Rum to cure the hangover I got...bad. I shouldn't have gone out, but we all knew I was going to of course.

I ended up dancing to hip hop and getting some DJ's cd to review. very cool...KING BRITT was there. That was hella cool. Everyone left early, including Wayne and the other English guy...I wanted to talk to them more.

HEAD IS HURTING. But napster will make it all ok.

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10.01.2004


This is me...and this is Spider Jerusalem...

So I saw SKY CAPTAIN bitches...I totally dug it. It was a retelling of CAPTAIN AMERICA, no doubt. Bucky was even in that shite. RESPECK.

oh, and if you're not listening to THE STREETS (brit rapper), then I'll kill you. Do it now. He's bang on, yeah?

Its almost 1:30am and I'm wide awake...trying to drink some of the pirate rum to calm down.
I hated work today. And left a ton of shite for tomorrow. And not going to the bar tomorrow. But am planning on having hella fun in NYC on Saturday.

Started reading House of Leaves again. I even left myself notes! God I'm insane. My whole body aches. I want to cry again. I can't believe how easy it comes anymore. Its like my tear ducts are permanently full and just waiting to release some of this pressure.

MICHEL fucking GONDRY was at MOCCA con...did we go? No, instead I followed ANDEELEE around like a sick puppy dog. I can't believe how much I invest in people sometimes only to end up hurting myself when no promises are made. I can't just be happy for the friendships I've made. i want more like the selfish whore that I am.

I want someone to hug me and I want it to be real to me. I want to actually feel it. Is that too much to ask?

"ACTION RADAR" by the prodigy and then I'm so out.

My playlist called I WANT MY 2 DOLLARS BITCHES!
"feed the tree" by BELLY
"bills bills bills" remix by DESTINY's CHILD
"standing at a toll booth..." by PRIMITIVE RADIO GODS
"bury me with it" by MODEST MOUSE
"this love" by MAROON 5
"don't mug yourself" by THE STREETS
"personal jesus" by MARILYN MANSON
"action radar" by THE PRODIGY
"don't dream its over" by CROWDED HOUSE
"its frank" by FRANKIE B
"halycon" by ORBITAL
"sinnerman" by FELIX DA HOUSECAT
"medusa's path" by THE PRODIGY
"dry your eyes" by THE STREETS
"hold me now" by THE THOMPSON TWINS

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