Hellboy...the WRETCHED perspective

So Hellboy was ok. It mos def had some pretty damn cool moments, but mostly just plodded along predictably and CGI-ed like a champ. The wait was insane; JD and Eric wanted to go right after work so I walked up to South St. for a couple drinks (even though I had told Keg-Leg earlier in the day that I wasn't gonna drink this week-HA! LIES!) and some pizza skins @ Pizzeria Uno. I did laugh at some parts of the film, and some action scenes were kickass (anything with that scary guy Cronin in it was gold) but anti-climactic and a bit sophmoric--INDEED!!!!

Work went by really quick today and I managed to get to a definitive stopping point by the end of the day so that was at least a relief. I of course have TOO much planned this week and will no doubt be worn out by Thursday. Tomorrow me and Sausalito go to KILDARES to meet up with Ms. Irate and Mr. Cypher instead of our usual Monday Nite @ Friday's fare (due to my Hellboy screening). Wed. is Gorman and Wink (what could be better than a shrink followed by house music??). Luckily, Stefan Francois has this week off for the hockey league so I have a day to recover before the weekend. Saturday is my babydoll's birthday and Sunday is the Phillies game (I'm so psyched! It better be bloody warm). Our Saturday night plans have suddenly falled through so now I'm really not sure what we're doing besides dinner for JD. I'm thinking I'll surprise him with D&B's afterwards or something...

My back is killing me, no doubt from stress. I shouldn't be up this late (almost 1am) but I'm awake b/c of the movie. It was just a surreal day. It didn't even feel like I was at work...weird. Moto Kittens will prolly be jumping off the walls from sleeping all day and nite!

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Written 3.15.04 (The Ides of March)

When the red-head croaked
“he’s dead,”
I cried.
like he had never died
before.
But then again—
he hadn’t died…instead
levitating in a limbo
of white walls in a
NorthEast Philly hospital…
a Temple that seldom people worship.

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This weekend was insane. Insane is a strong word...busy with random errors and drunkeness? Yes, much better.

On Friday, I came home and took a shower before going out b/c it was hot as hell in work and I was rank. I met up with Kell at her cousin's house, and then we drove over to Bock's and hung out @ the GRAVEL PIKE for a bit with him. When we returned home from the bar, Kell left to go over to Little John's, so me and Bock watched The CKY Trilogy Remix. I got all kinds of shite from Bock when I asked for my record player back...but as a x-mas gift from my sis, I get total claim on that bad boy. I came back to Philly around 1:15 and met up with Ry The Scot and Sausalito @ Silk City, got charged FULL COVER even though there was less than 45 minutes left. I didn't get home until 3:30, JD was up but went to bed right as I came home. He lost his keys but we found out the next day that Eric had them so its all good. Oh and I got to see Bo which was toally stellar, even if she's quite the fatty these days...hehe.

Saturday I was EXTREMELY HUNG OVER even though I didn't get drunk the entire time, but was also consuming alcohol from about 9pm until 2am and that usually is enough reason for me to get nauseous and have my head pounding behind both my eyes like sledgehammers were being beat into my skull. I was up early though, and by 3pm I had already made 2 trips out for fast food (once to Burger King, then once to McDonalds b/c they forgot Mike's sandwiches and I felt bad) and Kell came by. Then Kell promptly realized she had forgotten her wallet. So we made the entire trip back to RoFo and back to South Philly, making it back only 20 minutes before Dana and Neary came to pick us up for the "PLEASURE PARTY" we went to, a sex toy demonstration @ this AMAZING BLOODY house in South Philly. It was pretty entertaining, followed by drinks @ MANNY BROWN's and calls to various people/text messages to various people.

Kell left at 9am and I was up early again with a headache, but this one went away in an hour luckily. JD woke up and wanted to get to the grocery store which luckily energized me enough to clean the house today. I still have the bathroom to finish, but I'm waiting till later to get that done. I just made food but finished half and now I'm full. I dropped off my prescriptions today...but couldn't get either filled. arrrr!

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Oh how I wanted to write this morning...words were coming a mile a minute but the creative urge was lost on countless bookings and plant releases. After talking to my mom, who is trying to adopt my little "sister" (niece to the legal system), I was ready to write a novel about the trouble she is having with the biological parents (one of my older sister's and some random redneck). But now...nothing. Its all gone. Work exhausts to the point of THE NEED to do absolutely nothing. I'm such a slacker. I answered and email and I feel like I did something useful. I got that look of disapproval from Lefty tonite when I made another attempt to get out of writing my column for this month. I feel like I'm disappointing my father when he does that. Its just me and my insecure delusions. I wish I was stronger (I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller...)

So Mr. Joves got tickets to a sneak preview of HELLBOY. So my plans next week have gone all topsy turvy. I was supposed to go to KILDARES on monday with Mr. Cypher and Ms. Irate, along with Sausalito and possibly Keg-Leg. But alas, I have to see if we can move it to Tuesday. Wednesday is WINK. And that is all that matters. ;-) If its at 65 degrees outside I will be even happier.

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Back again, not even ten minutes was it? I don't know...just bored, or afraid to move. One of the two is definite. I'm upset I can't download music anymore. I tried to sign onto one of those legal sites and ended up getting charged twice some astronomical amount, thus overdrafting my account. Luckily, I got the bank to refund me the overdraft charge and eventually the site said I'll get a refund in 8-10 days. Too late losers; you f**ked (can I curse? hehe) up my whole spending week!

I've been bad the past 2 days at work. I've been going over to THE VEGAS just to get away. Sure, its prolly nice that I'm out of the office, but that also means, I'm sitting @ a bar drinking and smoking my entire lunch hour. Not drinking like a fish, just having a drink and pretending like I'm done for the day. I used to like my job so much. It scares me that its only really been about a year and a half and I'm starting to freak out. I've become more fragile to the job rather than tougher. How the hell does that happen???

I was supposed to be writing my monthly article for my web site tonite, but I just don't feel creative. I feel tired, worn through, tread upon, achy, and tense. The typing of this stupid entry is making my hands hurt. Too much like the motions I perform over and over again in work with machine-like precision. Except a really clumsy, silly machine that is efficient but doesn't pay real attention to detail. That would be me ::raises hand::

I missed talking to my mommy today. I'm trying not to call her. I feel like I depend on her for too much support. And I'm quite sure she feels the same way. Plus I just want to whine to her about my job. Which is prolly why this site was created...in the end...for people to bitch about something.

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So, I HATE WORK

Hate is a strong word...but I've actually made my jaw hurt from thinking about it too much. I must now subconsciously grind my teeth even during the day now too; and what a great time to run out of TRANQS!!!!

Anyway, I don't know why this blog seemed like a good idea, except that I started writing in a journal again back in December after my man bought me one, but got bored with it really quickly. I'm on the computer too much...maybe I'll be able to write something useful.

--Mary E. Brickthrower