The New Addiction: MySpace.Com and a Trip to Toronto…

Today I leave work @ 4:50 to catch the R1 to PHL for my 2nd trip to TORONTO, and the first con I will ever cover by myself.
I arrive in T.O. @ 21:45 hrs and will either take the same shuttle I took to our hotel –OR- suck it up and take a cab the whole way to Alex Avelino’s apartment where I am crashing.
He’s gonna have the pirate rum ready to go for when I get there. B/c he is a gracious host like that!
I have arranged (cross your fingers for me) a guest pass through Stuart Sayger, who is also my interview subject for this con. Its weird, the first night they’re open from 4-9pm. Strange, but should be a nice scouting period for me where I figure out where everyone is and decide on a plan of action. Because I have what I want to do, and then there is the itinerary written up by JD to make sure I get some sort of news to write about. I’m attending both the DC and the MARVEL panels, and as well as the draw-off’s for ACTOR or CBLDF or whoever.
Needless to say, I’m excited as all hell b/c I plan to buy records, DVD’s and clothing—OH MY!

I have sent out an email for my b-day party, which is gonna be the day before but I did have one Mr. MICHAEL AVON OEMING rsvp! Is that not the best thing in the entire world? Ok, its not b/c JD is working overtime trying to get my birthday prezzie, the thing I most desire.

And yes, I’ve joined MySpace.com and am more addicted than I ever was to FRIENDSTER. I already have CULLY HAMNER on my list of friends—and FIGMENT, the purple magical dragon! Haha…now that’s big time. Its all Keg Leg’s fault.

Oh yes, and my visit to GORMAN was awesome last night as with my TSH count so high (highest she’s ever seen! I’m special!), I shouldn’t even be functional! She said that my brain activity should be so low that I’ve become mentally slow. I told her I was just really tired and cold. She’s hoping it hasn’t been going on for too long, and since I’m completely outta meds then I guess I’m screwed until I get back. I really don’t feel that bad. Maybe its all the energy drinks I consume non-stop.

I hope to get online and blog a little (for notes and stuff) while I’m away…I can’t imagine an animator wouldn’t have a computer I can use. There are cyber café’s everywhere anyway.

Sooooooooooo bored. Ready for some Raging…oh yes my kittlings. ~rage, kittlings, rage~

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Mr. Cyphere and Ze Brickthrower

J Rock and me watching Horror Movies. I swear I don't get scared!

...Ghost Stories...Kwaidan...

Me and J Rock went to a couple local creepy spots, but saw nothing special or were really that scared. An abandoned train station, and a "haunted graveyard." It was fun though...and makes me want to go to PENNHURST or something like that and see if I an actually deal.

So what's been going on? I was broke as a joke and so was JD and even thought Mike was an upstanding guy and offered to treat, we just felt weird about it. So we stayed in and I got very drunk and talked to RAVENGREGORY and J ROCK and various other people. Both online and on the phone. It was fun. Though dammit if I don't wanna part wit OEMING and his wifey.

Saturday was work...which was ok b/c i had my camera but I was SOOOO bored...I got outta there as soon as I could, got TACO HELL for me and JD and then was just chillin when J Rock called to hang. and so we did. It was awesome b/c I was asked to be one of her bridesmaids and I'm like "OF COURSE" but I said it in a really girly and stupid way. I just feel special. Ms. Irate is probably my closest friend besides Keg to Da Leg. Rock on Rage on, Etc.

Today I have INNER SENSES to write as well as any sort of planning for T.O. I can do. I want to hang up my pirate flag but have NO WHERE to put it. I'm sending an email about my birthday out today.

~Rage Kittlings, Rage~
p.s. Frankie's eyes are yellow. Its the coolest thing I've ever seen. And KOOP stopped by yesterday with a special bottle of rum just for me. He's the bestest!
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In all their glory...the new shoes...

new shoes...I really do like them...so why do I look so sad?? Yarr...

yep...thats me...

What I wanted to write earlier...

My MILLAR story is up.

We're double dating with Mike Oeming and his wife Melissa tomorrow. Going to see ZATOICHI and then get drinks @ the Pontiac Grille.

One week till T.O. God I cannot wait.
I bought a sweet digi cam. See pictures posted after this post.

Rock'n'Roll. Idle time is the devil's plaything...

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I just wrote a ton of shite but its gone now.
Which is an omen of how much my post was depressing and stupid and shouldn't have been read by anyone.

Life sucks.
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Candy is Dandy...but Liquor is Quicker...


Millar, Ze Brickthrower and Cassaday.

I am being sandwiched by the Rock Star of the Comic's Industry and the resident Hot Comic Artist of Marvel. What a way to start out Wizard World Chicago!!!
Oh yeah, new pirate shirt, that just about tops it off right there...

I don't wanna say much, b/c JD has a ton of stuff going up, and my MILLAR story covers more than just the quiz itself, so let me relate a story I'm relating to my NYC buddy Frank through a letter:

Mark is super nice. My most favorite part of the entire con came with my adventures with Koop and Mark. Koop, my con and pirate rum connection--were gellin' in KNUCKLES, waiting for Mark to get back from the lecherous bachelor party him and every other Marvel bigwig attended. Mark finally arrived, and we went to Koop's van to take a couple swigs of the good stuff. Once we were done, Koop took his leave (as a comic book dealer out to make some cash, he is an early riser for sure) and me and Mark were left to walk back to the hotel bar ourselves. Arm in arm he recounted the debauchery that took place at the strip club, and we entered the hotel from a side door. A huge round fountain was about 15 feet in front of us, and upon seeing this, the first thing Mark says is:
"Last one to the fountain is gay!"
I tell him that my drunkeness will only allow me to run and fall into the fountain, and not actually stop at it. So he takes my hand and pulls me up and onto the fountain rim. His next challenge is as follows:
"Let's see who can stand here the longest."
Him being shorter than me gave him the advantage as my neck was propped at a crooked angle and my head was lopsided on the ceiling. Finally we decided on seeing how far we could stick one foot out without falling in (which I won as Ze Brickthrower's family's long legs are the stuff of legend) and walked around the edge of the entire fountain, hand in hand. It seriously was just hella fun.

Yes yes, Mark is the man. He knows this, and manipulates that accent like Beatrix Kiddo manipulates the Hatori Honzo sword in KILL BILL. Fuck yeah. Speaking of, that's my birthday prezzie from JD. I won't be able to do anything with it except pose for pictures for it...but what cool pics they will be.

Nic is on here way over...and then I'm watching JUON 2, which I bought @ the con. I also got BATTLEFIELD BASEBALL--thanks for the tip J Rock!!!

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Um...can we say MAJOR CONTENDER for the C.C.C.??? Lovely boy John Cassaday...

Wizard World Chicago...and John Cassaday is hot!!!

Ok, so far so good kittlings! Mark Millar, much like my favorite PYTHON Michael Palin, is the nicest guy in the comics biz!! And lets just say...he's doing most of the drink buying tonight!!

Jim Mahfood rocks out with his cock out (wish I had taken pictures) and left a message for J Rock on her phone.

Jim Lee and Bendis! are tiny little men. I want to take Jim home and put him on my shelf. Better than any comic book statue I could eve have.

I got my nails done before the trip so its hard getting used to typing with them again.

Andy Lee didn't hang last night. I cried.

Met alot of boardies, have a splitting headache, and bought KOOLS in Chi-Town. All for me dad.

Talk more soon...as our hotel has internet access!! Tech obsessed I am.

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The Winnah…and still CHAM-PEEN!

Yes yes, Ze Brickthrower is the proud owner of a JUNO 106. I got a good deal b/c some of the slider knobs are gone but I should be able to get that repaired fairly easily, and it is functional w/o them. ROCK! I can’t believe I really have a synth now. I’m so happy. Of course, LX, my bandmate of the newly christened XADE has not been in work and is just MIA in general. He did try to call me last night but I was watching (and subsequently fell asleep to) KILL BILL VOL. 2. This was after a “very special” column in which I waxed poetic on my love for Asian Cult Cinema. It goes up tonight, if you click this link here
====> http://www.simplyjd.com then by this evening you will see the glory that is someone quite obsessed with this film genre.

I also got my comic shite together for our part of the trip. Tonight is my fashion whore organization, as I need to plan my outfit for every day there. Yes, its ridiculous, but I’m planning on represent Business Goth/Piratecore/LEGOLAS-fandom in every sense of the word. Stupid laundry. I hate it but it must be done. I will WATCH KILL BILL and maybe even UZUMAKI tonight if I’m lucky. Rock’n’Roll.

Jeemy just sent me some more info on the business plan. I wish I could accurately explain how he chose me to get involved in this but I thank my lucky stars every bloody day. He saw something in me that was worthy. JD, KOOP, and other boys may want to say it was just my rack or my looks, but I sincerely doubt that he would think I could write based on these attributes. At least I hope not.

I’ve been talking to Mr. Frank from NYC quite regularly and its been hella cool. He produces music that just sounds kickass and I can’t wait till I get my synth so I can start sending him some stuff so we can collaborate. I feel like I’m NOT wasting my life when I’m drawing or playing music. That’s a good thing.
I wish it was Friday and we were on a plane to Chi-Town. I can’t wait to see everyone. Andy, Stuart, Millar, David, awww…it will be so much fun. As for the BENDIS! interview, I really just want to have a loose framework of questions. That will be done tonight, as well as me reading his AVENGERS so I’m at least sorta in the know.
Tomorrow night will be spent re-reading THE ULTIMATES. Both me and JD hope that drunkenness ensues quickly as it will make for a much better story!

The Clonnies are keeping me sane. I just called in my ZOLOFT script, which I need to curb the bouts of depression that come and go non-stop. I also need my allergy pills but I’m prolly not gonna get those until I get back from Chi-Town. I really want a drink. JD swears to me that he loves me, in all my fucked up ways and needy ways and insane ways. That although I say one thing and do another. He has been communicating with me so much better and we’re both just doing a better job of communicating our problems WHEN we have them, not holding them in. I’m totally proud of us for that. I know its hard for him when he knows something is wrong and I don’t want to talk about it b/c I feel embarrassed or even just mad at myself for feeling certain ways. I want to marry him and be with him forever. On that note, I want a drink right now.

After last week the painful truth is that I AM NEVER GOING TO GET BETTER. I have not reduced meds, or lessened dosages. It’s been the exact opposite. I am now on 2 different tranqs, an anti-depressant, thyroid meds and still feel the need to drink and pop pills to feel ok. I AM NOT OK. I don’t know how much I need to scream this or if people will just accept this fact and know that as long as I can take something to make myself feel better, whether it be pills, drinks, or otherwise, I shouldn’t be faulted for that. B/c when I’m not under the influence, I go insane. I feel like my heads gonna snap right in half and all the evil that is in there is gonna pour out and affect the world.

I’ve been watching too many Asian Horror films.

The truth is even with writing, with art, with music, with love and with medicine, I still have problems. And I’m sorry for that but it’s the truth.

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TOSHIO and the Rage Connection

Its weird what is creepy/scary about Asian Horror films. Its not that there are huge monsters or aliens or evil of epic proportions. Most of the films that I've watched revolve around one evil place, be it a house, a village, a warehouse, where ghosts from a prior horrendous act take revenge on any who enter their space.

The camera angles are the creepiest things about these films. As a viewer, we are not allowed to see the entire picture, or we see just enough of the evil (whether it be a little boy's feet, a bloody hand, a strand of hair) to freeze into fear at what is about to happen. The camera sweeps above the victim as she slowly turns her head and looks around, but it is not until she swings back around is the evil in front of her, on her, clawing her or running out of frame quicker than lightening. You might miss it if you're not paying attention.

Its this presence of evil, an evil that is always obscured or just barely in the frame, that is what makes the genre one of the most frightening.

***Just something I'm working on***
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Why Can't I Kill You???

I have valium and clonazepam, and one vicodin.

I am drinking Black and Tan. It is Sunday and I actually accomplished organizing comix AND going to the grocery story.

JD is making egg salad. I have watched:
MONSTER--ok, totally propaganda for the feminist movement or some shite.
VELVET GOLDMINE--really good.
A TALE OF TWO SISTERS--Asian Cult Cinema, hard to piece together but kickass. really dug it.

I talked to Andy yesterday to make plans for Chi-Town. I'm also trying to set up a double date for me and JD and Mike Oeming and his wife.

I'm really really really thinking of asking JD to marry me. I might be purchasing the ring in September sometime.

Chi-Town is so close I can taste it and I can't wait.
My weekend was cool for the most part. I just wish it was Saturday so I could lounge about without the dread of monday on my shoulders.

That is all.
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Me and Ze Moto...a cute little site called: http://elouai.com/doll-makers/candybar-doll-maker.php

Awww...

I had to call in an emergency prescription of Clonazapam today. I have been freaking out...like on the verge of a panic attack that never happens. It sucks. But tomorrow I will have meds AND new Asian Horror--ROCK!

Got my head shaved too...double trouble!

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*Juno 106—Mein Stolz Und Freude*

I have placed a bid on a synth—a JUNO 106—there was another sweet ROLAND that came with a hard case as well but after reading more about it I am gonna have go with the JUNO. In the way of vintage synths, it is still used today by A LOT of professional musicians. So it goes…

I’m bored. Bored at work is something that does not happen a lot these days so I’m taking full advantage. Adam—aka JAGER GUY—is texting me about going to ABLILENE tonight but my anxiety is fucking with my head. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept waking up and it just sucked! Its like I can’t calm down and GOD DO I MISS MY TRANQS!!! I’ve just gotta make it till Saturday when I can pick up my Valium RX. Until then, SIBERIAN ROOT and sleeping pills it is!!!

Me and Frank (aka DaGetHighKnight) have been emailing back and forth all day. He has a blackberry ::sigh:: and he’s helping me with the synth shite since he’s so savvy at it. ç=alliteration is fun! He’s a very nice guy…and we seem to help each other with our respective mental disorders. ROCK!

I finished my BHG Review last night…thank god! It took me forever but I persevered and got it done. Tonight I’m not sure what I’m doing but I do believe it will involve dying my hair and lounging about. I’ll probably pass out @ 10pm from lack of sleep. I watched Ju-On again last night b/c I’m insane. It still makes me jump…its great! I was reading Kurt’s latest story on the bus this morning and that made me feel more like vomiting—but in a good way. He says that like Poe, he writes about stuff that creeps him out. Ugh…he writes about stuff that would creep anyone out. I have been totally digging all the stuff he’s passed along to me.

MILLAR is mos def a go…and THE ULTIMATES fucking rule…I read the whole series once and am about to embark on my second time, with an outline for each issue this time around. I have no idea how serious he is about this quiz but I want to be ready just in case…BENDIS! has not said yes or no to an interview. So I shall go prepared for that as well, but not really sure if things will turn out the way I hope. If not I know that Stuart would like to get some more exposure on our site. And he’s a rockin’ good time.

I should really email Alex A. about Toronto…just to make sure we’re still go with that. Would hate to get there and have no place to stay…yarrr~!

Alright, time to do a few masters and look busy.
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*I AM SINISTAR*

Me and LX both totally wanted to be called SINISTAR, but it appears the name is already taken in like a thousand different variations. Why must we be plagued with the curse of the “no name band” syndrome??? We can’t decide on anything. But here are some more I was thinking of:
ABYSMAL SUNDAY
THE GRUDGE (this will no longer be cool once the movie comes out)
SPLINTERED CELL

Those suck. Forget I even wrote them. Anyway, I need hair dye and soon. My roots are coming in really bad and I MUST get my head shaved before Chicago in the hopes that I will look more like a pirate and less like a chia pet. JD wants to get his hair tipped…I’m really not sure how I feel about this…

This weekend we spent in YORK pa, with the ‘rents. Can I vent for a couple seconds? I came there to visit of course because I hadn’t been there in a month. JD came with so it was fun b/c we just vegged and watched movies and Satellite TV and ate and drank tons. But I also got to witness Iron Belly do whatever she pleased and still sleep with me mum (she’s almost 13!). Jaci Red-Handed bought me a cool pirate flag, but then also got $300 bucks out of my parents for various things, while I signed to have power of attorney and executor of their wills and got money back from them that my mom was holding for me for my synth purchase. Now, I just hate the way they’re being taken advantage of and they just allow it to happen. It drives me totally mad. And maybe I am a bit pissed off that I don’t get help with anything and the thanks I get is few and far between. So whatever. I’m gonna quit whining now. I just wish the rest of their children wouldn’t walk all over them. They don’t’ deserve that shite.

As for THE VILLAGE…I totally dug it, the rest of the fam did not. I think that SHYMALAN gets really great performances out of people, everyone that was in it had a strain and sadness upon them (with the exception of HOWARD, who was the light of the whole film); I don’t’ want to say too much about it yet as I’m writing about it for this month’s column and I’ll wait till then to add spoilers but scene and shot-wise, there are certain parts that make the film on the whole worth it. Not my fave film of his but I was happy with it.

I also spent way too much money on various items—some stuff from HOT TOPIC, a music magazine from the UK, the new KEOKI CD, and a “music journal” for writing music tabliature. It was fun though and I got a lot of cool stuff so I can’t complain. That is all the shopping I can do for awhile though as CHI-TOWN and TORONTO are huge events that I need to save money for.

Its so slow in work today yet I still feel on the verge of an anxiety attack which totally sucks b/c I seem to have no reason for it. I was going to go out tonight if J Rock and Mr. Cyphere were doing Fridays but I’m gonna stay in, try to save money and do some cleaning and synth shopping online. I would really like to see them and Keg Leg soon though…I’m trying to save money but I miss everyone.

Adam—JAGER GUY—is gonna be back in Philly tomorrow and I may try to go to ABILENE and hang with him for a bit. We shall see. Free JAGER at least! Even though that stuff makes me cringe.
Damn…I still have to write about BHG…I have notes I should try to finish that up tonight…ok so now I have real goals. Rock’n’Roll.
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