Seeing You...8.14.2005.

Seeing as I’m the only one
Willing to talk about this…
About this “seeing” thing

I’ll start with things as
I see it.
I see you walking
Away from me
Taking the light with you
You give me glimpses of
The impending darkness
Around me.

I have obsessed my way straight
Through love and lust and
Desire
Pushed through jealousy, doubt
And anger
Crashed miserably into hate
And dug in my heels
Bore down on a
Rusted bit
Seeing that we never had
A chance—it’s easy to come to
Come to the conclusion
That I never had you anyway

Did you see me
When seeing meant more
Than your standard view?
Instead of skirts and slacks
There were knickers and
Underthings…and skin.

When laundry day came
-and that was often-
often you could see it all
wrapped in crimson sheets
and cheap schemes
to make you mine forever
with just the wave of a feather
My confidence is just as superficial
As my skin
Covering every inch of me
But a view of nothing within

So you see
I can observe the scene and
Analyze
Or you can show me the basic truths:
You never loved me.
You never did.
Blinded by the lights perhaps?
Even denser than a black hole
Does being this nice to me and
Watching me grovel
Give you some sense of urgency
To run away screaming?
Kiss my face for 3 days straight…
Then disappear for 2 days more?
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