Save a cat...strangle Harvey Keitel [film reviews]

[pictured DOCTOR WHO]

1-HELL (thailand)This was my only PHILLY FILM FEST viewing, but it was pretty damn worth it. Within the first 5 minutes all the major characters are killed off and send to (yep! You guessed it!) Hell. The visuals in this film are stunning. Witness the deepest pits of sin and despair, and the lovely punishments that await you for such things as alcoholism, adultery, and lying. The story becomes more of a struggle for the characters to find their way out of their fate, and the realization of their actions; but the journey along the way is quite a masterpiece.

2-TWO EVIL EYES directed by GEORGE ROMERO and DARIO ARGENTO. This film takes 2 masters of horror and lets them "go off" so to speak on EDGAR ALLEN POE tales. It turns out the ARGENTO had planned a horror anthology series with more than just ROMERO; he wanted to adapt POE's stories of horror with the likes of WES CRAVEN and STEPHEN KING as well. When CRAVEN and KING didn't contribute, ROMERO and ARGENTO produced this 2-part film. ROMERO's half is first, and not that impressive in story. He does "THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF MR. VALDEMAR," and while I did jump a couple times the story really just didn't take me anywhere. ARGENTO's offering is far more satisfying; THE BLACK CAT is a more faithful story and pretty darn interesting with HARVEY KEITEL playing ROD USHER (there are other POE references within this part of the film as well); a man with a penchant for crime photography and cat strangulation. I really recommend this movie to horror and E.A. POE fans.

3-2001 MANIACS--this is a modern take on HG LEWIS' classic 2001 MANIACS!, a masterpiece in cannibalism and country-bumpkin horror. This remake may have had a bigger budget, but its story leaves something to be desired. The redeeming parts of this film are quite redeeming indeed: GIUSEPPE ANDREWS and ROBERT ENGLUND give great performances, and the references to LEWIS' original film actually make this movie watchable. If you haven't seen the 1st film then you will probably run away screaming, but having the knowledge of the first film is all you need to have a hoot and a holler with 2001 MANIACS. THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN BITCHES! (and I've now added GIUSEPPE ANDREWS to my long list of secret boyfriends)

4-DEMONS (Ital. horror)--like DEMONS 2, but in a movie theater. Demons make me sick.

5-DOOR INTO DARKNESS--ARGENTO murder-mystery. DARIO hosted this 2-part film. I love Dario's hair. The point is the story, the 2nd one was good, the 1st one I fell asleep on. I dig on ARGENTO's thrillers just as much as his horror. He tells a good story. Nuff said.

6-CHOPPING MALL (originally titled KILLBOTS). This is the classic 80's horror flick. Robots, thought to make a mall MORE protected, end up killing alot of horny teenagers. Pretty damn funny--good movie to play "spot the 80's cliches" to, and notice the couple from EATING RAOUL at the beginning of the film.

**bonus: ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK season 1 and DOCTOR WHO**
I *heart* ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK but I *heart* "The Doctor" even more. I've been watching both of these series alot. TOM BAKER is a god.
Another doctor I like? Dr. GREGORY HOUSE. I'm now downloading 4.6 gigabytes, 12 eppy's of Season 2. Rock and Roll.

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