Oh yeah, its me again...
Heaven is pissing down punishment on Filthadelphia like we desrve it. And I know at least I do.
I wrote this stupid poem today, about the fall, and it rhymed and it was sweet. About cider and pumpkins and corn mazes and all this shite that gives me the pretense of the season and how nice its going to be. and then I hear "one headlight" and want to kill myself. But to avoid this I"m downloading either really sappy (CROWDED HOUSE) or really cheesy (MAROON 5) songs on NAPSTER. I just found PRIMITIVE RADIO GODS...oh my god. I am in lurve with 90's radio. Its sad. Its sad when the music you grew up on does nothing but makes you really really depressed.
I actually just googled "suicide" on images and put up a painting of this red hair guy who doesn't look like he committed suicide, but its close enough for me.
JD is on the computer until about 20 mins ago; I decide to get online after playing KATAMARI...and now he gets off the computer. I fucking hate my life sometimes. He was taking a shower too...prolly missed my chance.
DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE? I wish I was dead but have that insane urge to get laid right before it happens...
aversion/attraction/aversion/attraction. I'm even averted/attracted to myself. And this Saturday its time to put on a happy face, and go shopping in NYC, meet Frankie, whom I'm really excited about, and just hope I can hold it together.
I think Warren Ellis hates me...I don't even have an interest in conventions and I just feel like Andy forgets about me unless I'm standing right in front of him. WHY DO I CARE? you may ask, the few of you reading this. Its simple: i invest so much of myself so quickly in people. i dig the attention and I want to make the other person have alot of attention too. This doesn't happen; my rejection is felt even though its not rejection inn the first place; we drift apart; the cycle begins again.
Haven't played my synth. Have just been listening to music and watching films and doing all these tune my brain out activities. And I'm about to do some more.
Self Importance: a 2 part phrase equivalent to some little whiny brat screaming through a flush of tears:
LOVE ME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Heaven is pissing down punishment on Filthadelphia like we desrve it. And I know at least I do.
I wrote this stupid poem today, about the fall, and it rhymed and it was sweet. About cider and pumpkins and corn mazes and all this shite that gives me the pretense of the season and how nice its going to be. and then I hear "one headlight" and want to kill myself. But to avoid this I"m downloading either really sappy (CROWDED HOUSE) or really cheesy (MAROON 5) songs on NAPSTER. I just found PRIMITIVE RADIO GODS...oh my god. I am in lurve with 90's radio. Its sad. Its sad when the music you grew up on does nothing but makes you really really depressed.
I actually just googled "suicide" on images and put up a painting of this red hair guy who doesn't look like he committed suicide, but its close enough for me.
JD is on the computer until about 20 mins ago; I decide to get online after playing KATAMARI...and now he gets off the computer. I fucking hate my life sometimes. He was taking a shower too...prolly missed my chance.
DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE? I wish I was dead but have that insane urge to get laid right before it happens...
aversion/attraction/aversion/attraction. I'm even averted/attracted to myself. And this Saturday its time to put on a happy face, and go shopping in NYC, meet Frankie, whom I'm really excited about, and just hope I can hold it together.
I think Warren Ellis hates me...I don't even have an interest in conventions and I just feel like Andy forgets about me unless I'm standing right in front of him. WHY DO I CARE? you may ask, the few of you reading this. Its simple: i invest so much of myself so quickly in people. i dig the attention and I want to make the other person have alot of attention too. This doesn't happen; my rejection is felt even though its not rejection inn the first place; we drift apart; the cycle begins again.
Haven't played my synth. Have just been listening to music and watching films and doing all these tune my brain out activities. And I'm about to do some more.
Self Importance: a 2 part phrase equivalent to some little whiny brat screaming through a flush of tears:
LOVE ME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Mary E. Brickthrower at 8:46:00 PM
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