I'm frisky and fearful...for you.

this is not for you.

I'm listening to TENACIOUS D. Its been awhile but after listening to DRACULA on tape in the car and that made me feel sorta good I was like "what kinda music would be good?" and after going through some depressive RADIOHEAD I finally have fallen upon a windfall of an awesome and sing-along kinda record. I'm rambling.

I was able to watch BRIDGET JONES' EDGE OF REASON, and then write reviews for both that and FINDING NEVERLAND in less than an hour (after the end of JONES' of course). Just came home, put the laundry in the washer, and didn't fuckin waste my time. Its always a good plan. esp. after I felt like such shite leaving work and coming home.

I feel so detached when I get that way. There were people at work and I could've tried to get involved and talk to them as they were all people I consider friends but I was just not there. I could feel my cheeks burning. I had this overwhelming sense to get away from them yet at the same time going home just made my skin grow even more crimson. It wasn't anger, or sadness, it was just embarrassment. At how fucking pitiful I make myself feel sometimes. How I actually put myself in these situations and then complain about it like I don'nt know how I got here in the first place. I detest myself sometimes. AND SEE I'M DOING IT AGAIN.

I accomplished everything I needed to. Even the laundry is folded although it still needs to be put upstairs and I need a shower but I'm just in the mood to keep the tunes going and clean up the office a bit. I really need to pre-rank baseball players. I've only done 25 so far. The order will be picked by Dane tomorrow to ensure impartiality, and the draft is Saturday. we have 10 teams, 3 or 4 indie comic creators, 4 writers from SimplyJD, 1 co-worker, and one ex-coworker. Yeah that sounds about right. No one was around while I was trying to decide the draft so I just picked Sat. Its the day that Fathead Jones moves out but I maintain I can make it in time for the live draft. If I don't get my boy on the team I'll cry. I'm hoping to score a couple of the same position players so that I can trade for better things, in case I need to barter. B/c I have gotten threatens that bartering may have to take place.

My eyes hurt. My head itches. My back aches. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
~~~sadie heX~~~

a 2am discussion on DRACULA and a night with SEX DWARF

Even with the depression I battle every so often, it doesn't seem to faze my social life. And if refraining from certain things while out was supposed to make me settle down finally, it didn't work too well. Just an observation on a life that is simply laden with things. Things to do, things to read, things to watch and to listen to and to make. My name is Sadie...and I'm a thing-aholic.

I'm listening to a stellar mix of RADIOHEAD that Stefan made for himself and I. This is the PRE "kid a" disc...and its my favorite. I like the more guitar heavy shite...this album just seems more standarad melancholy. Having just finished watching CLOSER, and feeling quite melancholy myself after listening to "the blower's daughter," the song that opens and ends the film (and the music video is the only special feature). So RADIOHEAD seemed like the natural thing to put in--especially with this sense of butterflies even though I should just be relishing the freedom that I have been given. I can go out tonight with A-Unit to SEX DWARF: 80's, electro and synth-pop all together @ club FLUID and I can go without a sense of dread. Red Bulls and dancing till it hurts is on the agenda. I will be happy to just be warm. B/c I'm freezing right now.

B/c SEX DWARF is once a month and I wanted to get my exercise in tonight so I can commit fully to Wednesday being about final touches on J Jonah's BIRTHDAY SURPRISE 2005, Cubed and I have scheduled our book meeting for 2am or thereabouts tonight--which should be when I'm getting home. A-Unit isn't even leaving N-Town until 9:30 (tis 905pm now), we will get there just under 11pm and hopefully that means no cover charge. That would be swell indeed. But I also need ciggies. And I was going to try to sneak in RED BULL's but I don't think I can with what I'm wearing tonight.

I stayed until 5:45pm today @ work but it really wasn't that busy. It was just frazzling. Things were wrong that kept garnering all my attention and driving me half-mad. I did more tranqs than I wanted to today but I just had a moment of severe discomfort that made me feel like it was the pills or the anxiety was gonna get me. I talked to GORMAN and let her know the good outcome of yesterday so she was thrilled. Everything happens for a reason bitch! Believe that. I do now. And I usually don't belive in anything.

Tomorrow its going to be in the 60's and I am thrilled. I can't wait to spend time outside. Hopefully more daytime time as well. But I gotta start with the baby steps. Ok, vitamin, RADIOHEAD, and waiting. I'm done with that.
~~~~sadie heX~~~~

Best Case Scenario

Today's outcome couldn't have been any better, considering the shite that could've happened to me.

Thanks to everyone who supported me with raising court costs, buying my junk on ebay, and the friends that stuck by me. I couldn't have done it w/o you.

I'm happy beyond words, so I'll leave it at this.
~~~sadie heX~~~

Do you hear that bell...it tolls for me.

The fear resides in shoulders
gut and brain
piercing gnawing at my
tumble of nerves
they could spill on the floor but
it would not cease the string of
connection to me
I could cut it out with rusty gardening shears
even tetanus cannot save me now

I said i would be done with the last drag
of my last cigarette
waiting for sleep to metabolize
I wait.

~~~~sadie heX~~~~

If that Magnificent Bastard Does Nothing Else...he reminds me why I love to write.

8.20pm.APHEX TWIN.DRUKQS

Today was good. easter with J Jonah's family and all that. lemon cookies for later. And did I mention that impending sense of dread that is pulsing through my veins?

Yeah...that too.

My hands hurt to type and I need a shower but I'm so exhausted right now. But I know as soon as I try to fall asleep my own brain will do everything in its power to keep me up. And there I go with the self-fulfilling prophecies so I'll shut the fuck up now.

I think I'll take a bubble bath even though it still means taking a quick shower afterwards but it may ebe worth it to soak in the tub, read some HUNTER S and Mr. ELLIS, and try to remember what is important right now. And that is that I'm powerless to the situation. I have learned from my mistake and have bettered myself in the process. Huzzah.

I'm wearing a suit tomorrow. Gotta look sharp. Mon cheri said I looked like Marla Singer today. All I can say to that is rock.

~~~~sadie heX~~~~

A Clockwork Orange Quiz

In honor of J Jonah reading my FILTHADELPHIA FILM FESTIVAL guide before me and tipping me off that A CLOCKWORK ORANGE will be shown and MALCOLM MACDOWELL will be in attendance.

Um...werd, kittlings, werd.

click the link above bitches

~~~~~sadie heX~~~~~

High Voltage

Tonight is practice--Mike is sick and not planning on singing so we'll see how it goes. Then I come home and call CUBED to see how much I will have to suffer so that I won't be penniless for the rest of my life. Roomie Mike is planning on leaving by the end of next week so my rent is going up. ROCK N ROLL. Or not. It really sucks but its still cheaper than what I used to pay so I can't bitch too much. Well, I could but I'll try not to. How's that for compromise?

Last night me and Alicia attempted to find decent music @ 3 different clubs but were sadly disappointed at all of them. NOCTURNE was boring, SILK CITY was shitty, and 700 CLUB was playing ROD STEWART. I did get my TRANSMET squares cut @ Stefan's and brought over some ideas for my TOP SECRET J JONAH PREZZIE 2005 (his birthday is next weekend). I also need one more person for my Fantasy Baseball league so lemme know if you're interested, leave a comment or sumpin. Its only 10 teams so I'm keeping it small and simple. I will still be vying for my top boys as usual, but I don't think I'm going to go for "themed" team like I usually do.

Tomorrow I'm working on J JONAH PREZZIE 2005 with Stefan, pickin' up some pirate swag, and gellin'. I really don't know what I have planned for the rest of the weekend but I do need to crank out my portion of the creator profile me and Cubed are working on, as well as renting some movies b/c once again my reviews are coming up and I haven't touched anything.

I have totally ruined my fingers from biting them. The skin around my nails is non-existent or terribly calloused from repeated gnawing. Man do I ever suck.
~sadie heX~

|||Little Shop of Horrorpops|||

MISS TAKE

So there it lies, the whole mistake.
It eats away on us, it feeds on my mistakes.

Your satisfied smile, tells me it's not all right.
Like a father you watch me confess to all my lies.

I did it again, I made a mistake.
You're right now. Aren't you satisfied?
So I did it again, I made a mistake.
You're right now. Are you satisfied?
Are you satisfied my dear?
Are you satisfied?
Hey

So maybe you were right
Maybe I'm not worth the fight
You being right is not, oh it's not nice.

Are you satisfied?

I wish we had the nerve
To be as we were
I wish I could find the root to all good

~~~~sadie heX, never satisfied~~~~

Stefan Francois Grovier rocking the white man fro. ALMOST Napoleon Dynamite. Sweet. **BEFORE**

Sausalito with the jheri curl...

Mr. Stefan Francois Grovier--**AFTER**

He's the absolute cutest now~!

FREE JOHN LAYMAN!!!

I will be posting some info and a petition to help my buddy and pirate swag-mooching pal when I get home tonight...please show your support by visiting his site (((link above))) and reading of his plight.

He's a strong man and he always keeps a smile on his face, but with our help he can live in the lap of luxury as he once did.
+++++++++++end of transmission+++++++++++++

Culture Beat Calls him MR. VAIN

NAPSTER rules if only for a one hit wonder radio station with the first selection of CULTURE BEAT's "Mr. Vain." This song reminds me of FLORIDA.

I had to take a peek ahead on the playlist to see what I would be listening to whilst working in ze office:
"Stay"--LISA LOEB
"She Blinded me With Science" Thomas Dolby
"What is Love?" Haddaway
"I Wear my Sunglasses At Night" Corey Hart
"Toy Soldiers" Martika
"Unbelievable" EMF
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" The Proclaimers

And I scream in pure want: WHERE IS "RICO SUAVE?"
sadie heXicidal

About the best present I've ever received

"A Boy Named Sue" on CD from Cubed. I am content. Just watching LOST helped. The HURLEY eppy again. In case you need some lucky numbers, please refer to previous post.
I was up to early for a Sunday and have been whining about it ever since. I am out of ZOLOFT as well so that doesn't help my mood any. I did get alot of stuff done today:
==watched ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF A SPOTLESS MIND and O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?
==moved the amp up in my office from the basement and practiced
==read all my comics save HYSTERIA V.1 and MINISTRY OF SPACE
==did laundry
==mocked Stefan for his drunken bebauchery last night (Too hot for BLOG!)

I have mostly been avoiding people today. I have NEVER not picked up the phone when my mother has called but today I did. I just feel fragile today. So I've been trying to keep myself busy. Like here, where I'll type about yesterday:

Dane found a place that we both thought was really great so her and John are filling out the application for it immediately has the next opening has an application pending. Dane bought me lunch and we saw THE RING 2...which was extremely disappointing. The previews intigued me more. WAR OF THE WORLDS looks insane (and TOM CRUISE is still GIRL PORN APPROVED©), THE AMITYVILLE HORROR looks even creepier, and DARK WATER should be interesting to say the least. But that brings along its own connotations. Follow my circular logic here=====>>>>SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! THE RING took the rather lame and disjointed plot of Japan's RINGU and made it quite the thriller. The CGI "girl-out-of-the-TV" creep fest was fine b/c of all the urban myth and jump-worthy imagery injections throughout the first 2/3 of the movie. And then I was tipped off to JU-ON and any regular reader of this blog knows my extreme interest in J Horror and Asian cult, particularly ghost stories. RINGU did not impress me but DARK WATER did. Some went too far and some were just terrifying. So the news the THE RING 2 would be directed by the original Japanese RINGU and RINGU 2 made me both hopeful (in the sense that THE GRUDGE/Shimizu partnership that translated to a pretty neat adaptation of J Horror for American audiences) and worried (the fact that I was not a fan of his RINGU work). Hope won out over my fears and I knew that seeing THE RING 2 opening weekend was a must. And yes, the jumps were there, I was covering my eyes at many points in the film. But to turn your film into the simplistic plot of ghost that wants a mommy is "universally stupid" as Cereal Killer would say. While it is a theme that is a good idea--LOOK AT YOUR SCHEDULES PEOPLE! DARK WATER will be out this summer. It is being touted as being from the people that made "RINGU" and "RINGU 2." About a girl...that wants a mommy. People are going to get sick of the genre before they've even given it a fair chance. Oh yeah--CGI is not scary. Especially CGI deer that are supposed to be menacing. EVIL DEAD is a great movie and it used rubber prosthetics and fake blood. Take note.
+++++++++end of ZE BRICKTHROWER RANT #33++++++++++

So I came home and put on party make-up for the shindig @ Rae's house. I hung out for a bit, even convinced A & E, Little John and random gal pal to come over for a bit, but they left about an hour after they got there and I followed them. I hate that its Sunday night already and I go back to work tomorrow and I should probably go to bed early to make sure that I get enough sleep but dammit if that doesn't make me a coward ready to succumb to my fate! I have my outfit picked out and plan to get a shower soon, so I think I shall be ok. Who knows though--Joe is already asleep so the sandman could still be lurking around somewhere.

(((this CD has the only BEACH BOYS song I like on it as well...so that is like 500 bonus cool points...I swear CUBED's about to get a 1UP)))

My favorte part of yesterday===>>walking with Stefan back to his house to get his IPOD b/c Rae's CD player skipped and I was going insane, going to the bathroom at his place while I leave him downstairs to grab it, arriving back @ Rae's to hear him say "I forgot my IPOD."

I can't find my WARREN ELLIS outline...Its saved but my printer decided that it doesn't want to feed in paper straight anymore, instead grabbing the paper and pulling it right, causing a paper jam with every page! :RAWK: Its got to be around here somewhere.

I DID take pictures of me and TOWLIE. I will try one more time right now and then the best one will be up momentarily. ***EDIT: Hello for Blogger is not workign right now so now pics for you!!!***

I have talked to Shacky more than any other relative this week.
If anyone has any good recommendations for YOGA/MEDITATION tapes/books/etc...please let me know. With the prospects of having a semi-private room to watch DVD's, I think I'll be able to start some exercise in the home. I'm stiff as board, and not nearly as light as a feather i would like to be.

Oh yes, and if anyone would be willing to hit me with a kendo stick or something everytime I do something just b/c I'm worried that I'm going to bother someone else please inquire within.
~~~~sadie heX~~~~

don't make me repeat myself...Give Me Information...

For 12 glorious hours, Our Lord and Saviour reigned down thread and phpBB devotion by re-opening a forum for his followers. He sat in on the whole thing like a chain-smoking guinea pig and we all took part in an experiment like a timed pub get together. I was a n00b, having not been a message board whore like I am now, but settled in and enjoyed the quickness and organic feeling of the entire thing. I only got to partake in about 3 hours of idol worship but thank Warren from the bottom of my business-goth heart for the renaissance of why I started posting on the internet to begin with. It wasn't for attention, or promotion, or anything other than the want and need for creativity and comraderie. There is a brilliance on this web of tangled stops in between the porn sites...and I saw a glimpse of it today.
+++++end of ELLIS EGO PETTING+++++

So Wednesday night me and stefan went up to N-Town to hang with Keg Leg and then watched a bit of FAMILY GUY. I awoke much later than I wanted to on Thursday and much to my chagrin the DALI exhibit was no less crowded. Stefan and I had fun though--and afterwards met up with Ry The Scot in Center City for dinner. Then we went back to Northern Liberties for some St Patricks Celebration, which was really just of walking back and forth between THE PALM, DRUIDS, and Stefan's hizzy. I wrote my ALFIE review and sent it to J Jonah, watched some PYTHON, listened to Stefan sing to all kinds of songs b/c he was so drunk. But it just gave me an excuse to sing louder than I usually do. Today I talked to a man about a dog, indulged in the ELLIS forum, skipped out on the show we were supposed to go see b/c its actually tomorrow and we both have plans. I have to get up early which sucks but I'm hoping THE RING 2 and the party @ Rae's will be enough entertainment for me. I ran out of printer ink so I have 5 new Transmet squares printed out and am now at a standstill with that. Finally finished JTHM and shall now read all my comics (I'm a few weeks behind), and start HUNTER S THOMPSON's book that Cubed gave me b/c he's a sweetheart. Did I mention the Towlie b/c that rocks too and that's another gift from Cubed b/c he is too good to me. me and Towlie should take a picture together. yes, look for that in about 20 minutes or so. J Jonah has on ALICE IN WONDERLAND, the movie that makes us both squeal in delight, but I can hear his heavy breathing so I do believe he has passed out for a bit.
And with that, I shall prepare for my mini photo shoot with Towlie.
|||sadie heX|||

Hello World I'm Your Wild Girl!

I'm your cherry bomb.

Multi-tasking:
~Writing movie reviews (ok, really haven't started that yet but its on the list
~Watching LOST reruns via bittorrent
~talking on AIM
~splitting up the pirate swag
~wishing I had more soda
~Reading JTHM
~yelling random things to J Jonah
~picking at a pock mark that is driving me crazy!

So I had a bit of a "breathrough" (((<===hate using this term, so psychobabble-ish))) with my shrink on Monday. Just finally articulated something about my personality that I never wanted to admit before. Right now I couldn't say to you that I think I'm addicted to any one thing. I'm just and addict. That's all I'm really sure about. I stop smoking ciggies randomly for months at a time. It just doesn't seem to faze me like it would others. But to stop everything--oh no. No. that would be bad. But there are some things (like synthroid) that I can't live without. Here are some LOST theories I believe to be true:
=KATE cannot be trusted. Thrice they will say it before the cock crows (and its been said twice now)
=LOCKE has nothing to gain by leaving the island
=HURLEY will not be the one to die @ the end of this season

I have so little money left for spending this week, but GOLDIE is here on Thursday...and um...I haven't missed one yet. DECISIONS DECISIONS. Stefan is up for it...as I'm sure A-Unit will be. On Saturday it looks like I'm going to go look at apartments with Dane. Tonight I told roomie Mike that we would like him out in a month. J Jonah the silly face had told him that he could have until June and I'm like "No way Jose", esp. since he's moving back in with him mum. So we're cool. Him and Annie broke up and I didn't even know. But he has been going out and stuff so I didn't think that there were any more problems after X-mas for them. I was wrong.

The pirate swag is calling me. I started this blog post @ 7:55...its now 9:05 and I'm still on the first paragraph of my first review. I hate this part more than anything. Its just kinda emptying my brain of anything I can think about the movie and then hopefully having CUBED edit it into something decent. What a way to work. I need to stretch my legs.

Tomorrow me and Stefan are going to visit Keg-Leg in N-Town. Its our Friday so we figure we'll take full advantage. Alright...the drum and bass is kicking. I need to get this motherfucker rollin!
sadie heX

The madness is spreading...

7:04am

7:04am Ze Moto

Meet Ze Monsta

I was gonna write all kinds of things but I don't really feel like it now. So instead I'll just say:
+got a new cigarette holder. Three times a charm.
+Joey bought me a t-shirt and Meatwad keychain @ hot topic and a CK hoodie @ Strawbridges
+We bought coffee and its 3am so yeah, that's nice
+I watched both movies I need to review today (yesterday) and tomorrow (later today) I'm going to be cleaning the kitchen floor.
+Got my homework done--at least the first wave of it
+Can't go to my 'rents b/c of the "I'M RICH BIATCH" tour (comedy tour with BILL BURR, CHARLIE MURPHY and "ashy larry" from CHAPPELLE's SHOW) on Friday. Don't know when I'll get up there b/c we're doing Easter with Joe's mum
+I need to practice bass and try to sing "sober" to see if I'm any good. But we do have this week off so I should have time to iron some problems out.

Ok, time for a smoke and some more message board lurking.
++++++++++++end of transmission++++++++++++

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Mead

So I have started my DRACULA homework, and my god! Here are some things I can tell you even if you haven't read the novel:
+I started and didn't stop until 2am
+Once I started writing, I realized how much of the stuff I thought were other people's problems are actually mine
+I'm an angry person
Its going awesome though. Its not fun to talk about things that piss you off, especially things you are holding from YEARS ago. But its amazing that once you get started, how all these things just come flooding back into your mind. I imagine I'll be done by Sunday and then can look it over again before our next meeting.

Practice went well yesterday. "Lost Souls," our newest original--SUCKED. Once the chorus came in I got completely lost. Its a significant time change but it was just too messy for me to follow the drums or the guitar. "dance on your grave" was fucking great though. The last time we played it was bloody awesome. I talked to Mike and I'm going to try to sing the chorus of "SOBER" next practice. I really need to practice that one but I was singing along while we were playing and I THINK I was in tune. Who knows...until my voice is amplified I won't know if its gonna work or not. I would sing the whole song if I could but I'm a dope when it comes to playing and singing at the same time. We might have finally decided on a font to go ahead with for a logo so that's cool too. We are taking next week off b/c I'm driving up to my parents on THURSDAY b/c they have ever so graciously offered to fix my brakes for me and get it inspected. I can't pass it up considering my financial status and impending trial. I'll be up there until Saturday, I'm driving home that night b/c the Philly Con is Sunday. MARK WHEATLEY is going to be there so I shall attempt to get a Spider J sketch from him. I want to get more of those done this year since I slacked last year. And my regular con activities are going to be changing so I need to think of actual things to do at these things instead of just drinking and partying.

I have next THURSDAY and FRIDAY off. Me and Sausalito are going to see DALI on Thursday and it'll work out for me taking my car up to the 'rents. I am thinking of scheduling a check-up for Ze Moto on Thursday morning as well. She hasn't gone since she got fixed. And her nails need some clippin!!!! I want them to give me kitty sedatives so I can do it myself. She is a little beeyotch when it comes to having her paws touched.

Last night I went to TLA and picked up 3 movies. 2 are for review (LADDER 49 and THE EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING) and one is for my J-Horror viewing pleasure (KOMA). I wanted to get a movie that J-Z had told me about but its not available yet as an actual release, just a boot leg. SUCK!!! Oh well...I think the worst part of all of this is that I actually have to sit and watch LADDER 49. Its hard having an open mind when you had no intention of ever seeing a film. At least EXORCIST will be dumb enough to be silly. OPEN MIND OPEN MIND!!!! <===my mantra for this weekend.

I need to start the new TRANSMET design this weekend. I'm going to measure and start the layout tonight just so I can make sure I can get it right this time. It sucks having to start an almost-finsihed product from scratch, but its a learning experience and I can only hope that this will look even better than my last design.

Tonight mon cheri is taking me to HIBACHI and then perhaps a few games @ Dave and Busters. Tomorrow looks to be a busy day as we need to hit the grocery store (BJ's for the industrial sized shite) and post office; then later we're going to KOP mall for some shopping. Frair Fiance is obsessed with buying clothes lately. And I usually get something too so it makes it all worth it. I'm spoiled, hear me roar. I need to clean the kitchen floor too as its a mess.

Oh and the MEAD reference is a sort of nostalgia story. I have a bottle of mead I bought in London that I swore I would not open until I had booked my next trip to the UK. Well fuck it all if that trip still isn't booked, 6 years later, and I'm still holding onto this bottle. But now opening it will not hold exactly the same significance as it would've before. It kinda sucks. It just makes me sad. But Cubed says that MEAD tastes horrendous, worse than Sake, so I think I'll live.

Anyway, to think I'll never drink alcohol again is extremely strange, but at the same time I can see how I will ever be able to be a casual drinker. Its not in my genetic make-up.

IT'S ALL GOOD!!!! LA VITA BELLA!
++++++++++end of transmission+++++++++++

Got your HP Countdown Clock?

MUGGLENET is one of the most comprehensive HP fan sites I've visited, and they always update with new pictures or news everyday. Its pretty impressive. They have a message board, but its a 300 post minimum before you can even change your avatar and so they mean business. I'm just a lurker over there.

But I am also a memeber of the SAS (Snape Appreciation Society) so of course this cements my title of UBER-GEEK.

I didn't go to bed until 3am or so. I was supposed to be doing the LOST night thang with Ry and Stefan but I think I'm staying in and finishing my table. Stefan has offered to come over, watch LOST and shave my head for me. So that could work out. I need to practice bass guitar like a mofo though...gonna have to figure this one out. I must ask mon cheri if we have a straight razor at home or I need to borrow one from work.

~sadie heX

The New Obsession

NINE INCH NAILS "The Line Beings to Blur"
There are things I said I would never do
There are fears I can not believe have come true
For my soul is too sick and it's too little and too late
and myself I have grown to weary to hate

The more I stay in here
The more it's not so clear
The more I stay in here
The more I disappear

As far as I have gone
I knew what side I'm on
But now I'm not so sure
The line begins to blur

~~~~~~sadie heX~~~~~~

The One Thing I Miss About LiveJournal?

Ok...there is one silly little thing.

The mood settings. On Livejournal I had this sad little goth girl. On MySpace I have stupid smilies. But when I was busy or excited, I could bloody well show it!!!
I miss you sad little goth girl. The next tear I shed it will be for you.

Few times I been around that track
so its just not gonna happen like that
cuz I ain't no HOLLABACK GIRL!!! <===gwen stefani

L sent me the bittorrent to the new NIN song--oh TRENT, you rock my world. Its raw and its fucking great. Oh yes, and of course did I mention: I'M GOING TO THE FIRST SHOW @ THE ELECTRIC FACTORY IN GOOD OLD FILTHADELPHIA!!!!

Hear me now: I'm going to be as close to TRENT as I probably will ever be able to get...and I just want to hear THE WRETCHED. B/c then the WRETCHED can scream in pain:
...and now you're one of us. the wretched. I could die happy at that moment. NIN got me through so many horrible times. And wonderful times too. I need to stop being so sappy about Nine Inch Nails. I'm such a geek. But yes, I really dig the chorus of the new song. And I'm one of those fans that digs the words just as much as the lyrics. Mon cheri kinda likes the instrumentals better. But to each his own.

I've been sitting here way to long but I did accomplish 2 things--uploaded the pet pictures and emailed them to myself so I can get them on picturetrail by noon. I need to rent some movies too. Fuckin' A man--I need to practice too. where will all this time come from?

Me and Stefan are taking off next Thursday and Friday. thursday we're going to see DALI and friday is just b/c. Although it looks like meeting with Slavedriver Cubed is scheduled. Rock and Roll.

I hate the way my music is right now--I updated my windows media player and now everything is fuct.
~sadie Hex.

This is Luke, Shacky's german shephard. He's awesome. When German Shep's are puppies, you have to be careful with how you handle their ears or else they will not stand straight up as their breed is known for. You have to let them build us cartilage and muscle. The best part about Luke is that he was really trying to hold his own against Bailey (who is throwing her weight around like a sumo wrestler). Right now Bailey is just a tad bit bigger but Luke is growing like a mofo until the male starts to dominate. Oh Snap!++++++++++end of transmission+++++++++++

Sadie Hexicidal and The Swank House in Northern Liberties...

So it goes...

Today it is in the 60's. Tomorrow it will be back down to the 40's. Watch me get sick in the blink of an eye. During lunch me and Stefan took a drive to UTRECHT and I got Matte Acrylic Sealant for my Transmet Table. Its almost done. Rock'N'Roll.

I got put in a comic strip! Nicole made me a cute little animal...I told you guys I was a closet furry. Click the link above to see (scroll down to this weekend).

I have postponed DRACULA discussion to tomorrow so that I can properly prepare my mind. This is not to say that its something that I couldn't discuss now...but I'm so much better on paper (and on the net) than I am in person. That is to say that my speaking becomes stuttery, random and I lose my train of thought easily. W/o notes and an idea of what I would like to talk about. So tonight I will be outlining and making notes on the roof of Beth & Wayne's hizzy, the gorgeous abode that me and Stefan will be taking advantage of since today is the perfect day. Ry the Scot is house-sitting so we're going to harrass him since he's the house slave.

So why didn't I do my homework last night? B/c I fell asleep kittlings...my sleeping patterns are so severely fucked up that I don't know what's wrong with me. But I am going to harbor a guess that EVERYTHING is. I was just exhausted from driving and staying up till 3am or later all weekend.

Shout out to J-Z: hope your first day went well!!!
Shout out to Mr. Cyphere: You are the perfect combination of Hurley musings and Sawyer cool. Your smarts are more LOCKE though...your post about female and male science stuff was outtasite.

Oh, and finally, my goals this week:
1--Watch at least one DVD and draft review (I would like to get all 3 done by Sunday but I will be happy with one)
2--Finish TRANMET table in its entirety (legs and all)
3--Finish reading JTHM
4--Read whatever DRACULA is due by next week
5--Get Kitty things when I'm grocery shopping (NEED litter and treats)
6--Swiffer and Mop kitchen floor
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Clean, Lemony fresh victory is MINE...

Rockin' out to some INVADER ZIM...got the dvd back from Iron Bell. I got alot and nothing done, here in no particular order:
||I forgot HAWTHORNE's cd b/c I suck.
||I read all my comix except for PAUL POPE's SOLO. But dammit if LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL was a lil disappointing. I set my hopes up way to high. It was by no means bad--just a lot of lead-ins.
||Insomnia hardcore...slept like shite...totally sucked. Kell bopped me on the head in the KING SIZE bed. haha...even in a huge ass bed she still gets me! it was pretty funny.
||Luke is the cutest puppy ever. HUGE FEET--this dog is gonna be CLIFFORD in a few months.
||Kell and me listened to DANE COOK and CKY goodness and watching some JU-ON to boot.
||Mum had LOST eppy's on ze TIVO so I watched some to get my fix.
||Saw Stefan for a bit--his painting is looking awesome.
||Did my assignment...woke up this morning and made coffee, emptied the dishwasher, ran the paper up to my mom before I left. It felt fucking awesome. I can totally dig it.
||Didn't talk to mon cheri until after 1pm today...and it was ok.
||Got me and Kell "LOST" ourselves, got off at the wrong exit (((Routes 214 and 216 are consecutive exits!!! I took the first one b/c I thought that was the one. it wasn't. We drove around forever but it was cool. I had to call mummy and get directions, I was painfully lost)))
||Daddy only made and appearance Friday nite--he left for somewhere early Saturday. He made pizza though that was cool. I don't think I got to say goodbye to him. I just realized that.
||MIKE HAWTHORNE gave me a cigar and taught me some wisdom that will be helpful in the ways of smoking. He rules the school.
||Shacky gave us a really cool idea for a place to have dinner but they were packed so we ended up down the street at a little place that thought it was fancy-schmancy but was sorta funny in its pretense. The food was pretty damn good and they didn't mind us smoking cigars.

...and stuff...

I'm so sleepy. I'll nap now and be up all night. ROCK N ROLL. I CAN'T HEAR YOU BK BROILER!!!
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My Letter of Fate

I am wearing a DEFTONES hoody and listening to the DEFTONES while barely working and singing along to the DEFTONES.
I think I dig the DEFTONES.

Practice went ok last night. Me and Mike have decided to scrap one song and add some more new ones to the stew as we played “Dance on Your Grave” for the first time and rocked out! I sang back-up (its been a long time bitches) and fucked up quite a bit but it wasn’t half bad. Virtually painless and more fun than all the complaining about I’ve been doing about it. We have plans to get together next Thursday again. Mike brought me and mon cheri FEARSHOP t-shirts which was very cool of him. I’ll wear mine tomorrow whilst having dinner with HYSTERIA artist/writer MIKE HAWTHORNE, who is buying me a MACANUDO as thanks for his KRS-1 mix I made him.

Yes, was able to accomplish quite a bit before heading to practice—got my column done and sent. I even wrote a lil about CONSTANTINE which I was glad I could add in there. See it all @ http://www.simplyjd.com When I came home I took a shower, checked the ‘net for something amazing and spectacular but left empty handed, then read some comics. I’m SOOOOO behind. I have 6 more to read from last week plus I think one or 2 that came out this week. And LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL is one of those new ones. So allow me to cream in my panties right now b/c as much as that lil AZZARELLO guy gets on my nerves, I’ve been waiting for this comic for ages. It better be good or I might just get medieval on someone’s ass. And I don’t want to have to hurt Ze Moto Kitty.

So tonight Frair Fiance goes to the DALI exhibit for the 2nd time and I head out to YORK for a visit to the “rents. Relaxation time. Although I was given an extra “assignment” by Slavedriver Cubed (:wink:) that I’m sure will be beneficial and kind to all those around me. So it can’t be bad. But really, it doesn’t matter b/c when I’m there all my worries lessen and I can just concentrate on viewing maybe one new DVD, gellin’ wit Keg Leg, Iron Belly Shelly, Shacky, mum and Daddy, watching awesome cable, sleeping A LOT, sneaking some pirate swag after everyone’s gone to sleep, smoking ciggies like a chimney, yes yes. Fun times in the middle of nowhere. Stefan was thisclose to coming but he’s totally broke and he wants to finish his painting so he’s gonna try to make it out next time. I hope he’s happy and not too down b/c I really dig having one of my best friends back in my life again. Its like Christmas in March!

My back hurts so fucking bad I don’t know what I did to it but that means driving is going to be a BITCH. But we’ll have DANE COOK and pirate swag to keep the pain away. I think CKY VOL.1 Disc 2 is also on the horizon. Hell—CKY in general is always a crowd pleaser.

Work is just weird today. Its almost noon and I feel like I’ve done FUCK ALL. I guess I’ll try to work now.
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Nobody Walks in LA

BP vs. EFCEE--not the greatest mash-up but 2 things make it worth my while:
1=NIN-"CLOSER" mixed with LOUIS ARMSTRONG's "JEEPERS CREEPERS"
2=MISSING PERSONS "WALKING IN LA" mix

I still need to make that KRS-1 cd for MIKE HAWTHORNE. CUBED got him a kickass shirt that I need to give him on Saturday. Keg Leg is still go for tomorrow but I think A-Unit may be cancelling. Not sure yet--don't wanna jinx it.

I also have band practice.
I also have a review to finish. Everything is written, its just in like 3 different word docs that I must copy and paste together and then throw into DREAMWEAVER to make all pretty. So will this get done BEFORE practice--oh how I highly doubt that. But I will try my bestest.

I did read up to CH. 5 of DRACULA and that has left me with homework that CUBED didn't assign but I must accomplish anyway. Just some questions I really need to answer for myself so we can talk more about it.

LOST night @ Stefan's was last night. I watched Stefan paint some of his huge-ass painting for above their couch while I finished my PORCO ROSSO review. Ry the Scot hung out and we had a good time. ALOT of pirate swag was consumed but that made it more fun. It was a nice chill evening and its not even funny how many times I looked at the wine lists @ CHAMPPS and the glass after glass that Ry poured of shiraz and thought "just one glass...just one glass...just one glass" followed by smoking another cigarette. Oh what a weird life I'm leading right now.

I just can't wait for the weekend at the 'rents. Stress free for the most part (oh, Shacky and Shell still fight like and old married couple) and just gellin'. The drive sucks. It really does. But its worth it.
4 8 15 16 23 42 <<<====your winning lottery numbers.

I swear to god I'm going to bed as soon as my column is up. NO diggity kittlings. No diggity indeed.
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Anarchy in the P-A

Anarchism 100% Democrat 83% Communism 75% Green 67% Socialist 50% Fascism 17% Nazi 0% Republican 0% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

My First Band Logo idea...hmmm...

Banned

I've never been banned. My counterpart partner in crime J Jonah has been banned from quite a few sites. Permanently nonetheless. But he is a consumer...he will just push on and subsist. I tend to wither away and poke back up, looking for some sort of recognition or familiarity. It seldom happens the way I plan.

I should be watching PORCO ROSSO already...but I'm not...instead blogging to the sounds of SYSTEM OF A DOWN and waiting for the pirate swag delivery to get here. B/c then I'm gonna roll like there's no tomorrow. Hellz fucking yeah.

Cubed gave me a due date for reading up to Ch. 5 in DRACULA. Its 38 pages--piece of cake. Didn't stop me from whining about it though. OH AND MR. CYPHERE--thank you for the tidbit of info about LUCIFER. Good to know! I need to email you about it b/c I'm doing a paragraph recommendation for the film and wanna get my shite right. NA MEAN????

PSYCHO. GROUPIE. COCAINE. CRAZY. <<<====system of a down.

I have a carton of ciggies. It was prescribed to me. Seriously. When we do it, we do it hardcore. But I wanted MARLBORO MENTHOL 72's. B/c those are the shizzy. but CVS told me I had to pay in cash for them. And I was like WHAT???????

And then went to the Beer Distributor and bought a carton of regular marlboro menthols. But they gave me a free lighter and you know CVS would never do that so they suck!!!! Bell Beverage rules.

Ok, swag has arrived, mind has been tuned on. Time to watch a movie. Hopefully I don't fall asleep.
~sadie hex

||Back like the resurrection||

Dear Livejournal:
You suck.
Love,
Sadie Hexicidal.

Yesterday I actually caught myself up and attempted one HUGE ASS entry on LJ. It was about all kinds of stuff. What I did this weekend, what’s been going on with me and J Jonah, stuff I’m getting done, books I’m reading/read, etc and so on. Its fucking gone. So I throw my hands up, realize that BLOGGER rules the school with posting –AND- pictures so all I’m saying is, I’m more guarded about the personal things, and hoping to start over b/c this blog has been almost a year running and it would be a shame to lose it.

HATERZ be damned.

So, lemme see. On Saturday me mum called me to make sure that me and J Jonah weren’t on the rocks as my daddy took my sudden decision to drive up to my parents last weekend as a sign of trouble between me and Mon Cheri. And in truth—we had quite the squabble on Saturday but it ended up ok. I’m not ever going to change him. I can’t pretend like I think this will happen. But if he thinks that I’m ever going to be so happy that I’ll never get sad and cry again, well that’s just CRAZY TALK. Me and J Jonah went out to KOP for some dinner, a movie, and some shopping. I bought myself some incense and some pants while he picked up a shirt for me and paid for the date stuff; he also picked up the DONNIE DARKO special edition tin with a necklace which I’m wearing right now b/c I wish I was a superhero or something. And it didn’t even matter than I did want to go to my parents (which was for meditative purposes only—my own personal safe house) b/c I ended up staying home. This weekend A-Unit and Keg Leg are supposed to join me for a visit.

We saw CONSTANTINE, which was decent. Words cannot describe the pleasure that the huge VERTIGO logo gave me as it appeared before the movie started. No huge DC comics logo—INDIE LABEL REPRAZENT! Of all the Vertigo shite I’ve picked up, HELLBLAZER has never been one of them…and it’s a shame b/c Vertigo’s finest have all written it. And although KEANU REEVES is no JOHN CONSTANTINE, he wasn’t terribly annoying either. The story was excellent in the way that it wasn’t an origin story—just what Hollywood needs to realize right now—movie-goers don’t’ need an origin story to “get it.” If you want to know more about PAPA MIDNITE and his past, well bloody pick up the comix then!! And although PETER STROMARI was a disgusting and detestable LUCIFER, he was not my Vertigo LUCIFER than I have become accustomed to, impeccable with his blond/white hair and tuxedo. And TILDA SWINTON was awesome. Me and her need to fuse our gene together, if only to make the perfect not-too-pale redhead hybrid.

I had 2 goals this past weekend—both of which I accomplished. I wrote my I <3 HUCKABEES review and finished the printouts for my TRANSMET table. See below for the finished product—well almost finished. Here’s how I made it in case anyone cares:
1-Scanned in my favorite panels from the various TRANSMETROPOLITAN trades
2-In my non-photoshop Photo program, I made collages and printed out these on a thicker print paper
3-designed layout (which included a middle vertical panel b/c I was about 2 inches shy of covering the whole table with full page photos
4-Mod Podge’d (aka glued) down panels
5-Cover with Acrylic sealant and cut off excess pages around top ç==final step that still needs to be done

Supposedly you can use this mod podge as a sealant as well but I sorta tried and it sorta sucked. I still have one more table to design and then I should be done…for now. :wink:

I finished HP 5 last night, finally, and must say it was no GOF. Why ROWLING needed to make Harry so goddamn unlikeable is beyond me but I guess it’s part of some master plan. I am trying to get through JTHM so I can concentrate on my “required reading.” But usually I can multi-task a book and a trade w/o much trouble. OH yes, and Keg Leg finally has a pad of her own (well, a pad she’s sharing with Grano, A&E, and Little John) but I’m just glad to see her outta the ‘rents house. Although she just got that cute lil pup which I’m sure she’ll miss. The house is in N-Town though, which is much closer, so hopefully we’ll be seeing each other more. And I need to call A-Unit today as she called last night but I have that problem with answering my phone when someone calls. B/c I’m a geek.

This week I have 2 goals:
1—Finish my DVD review column (2 reviews down, 1 to go plus I may throw in CONSTANTINE for the hell of it)
2—Locate and contact a chapter of AI (amnesty international) to begin helping. I have already got an email from the SW chapter but they seem to be operating much farther out of the city than I had intended. There is a CC group though that I may have to check into.

MY BURNING SOUL—barely smoldering. Tension and all that. Not sure what is going on but I do know that I haven’t been practicing much but I have had other things on my mind. I think we're going to try to practice this Thursday after a 3 week hiatus.

WED is LOST night...I'm trying to make it a habit to watch LOST over @ Stefan's. I think I"ll offer him a ride home tomorrow. This is b/c him and Jackie broke up. It really sucks b/c I know its not easy for him (or Jackie) and although I feel slightly in the middle my loyalties lie with Stefan.

I’ve been writing, mostly shite, but its something. And with this, I guess I better do something at work other than type fake emails that turn into blog entries…
~sadie hex